One of the things that makes me feel alive is to observe, ask, and imagine how other people live.
Last week, I had the opportunity to spend a couple days in New York City - and I can't think of another place in this country that stirs my imagination more - and causes me to consider different ways of life from my own.
I was attuned to the differences I saw in a heightened way because of a chance encounter a couple weeks ago. While we were sitting waiting for a table at our favorite Italian restaurant in Canandaigua, a couple visiting from Manhattan came in. We struck up a conversation, and they asked what we'd recommend they do for fun in our town on the following day.
Well we all love where we live, but we couldn't think of much going on - that a couple New York City folks would enjoy - on a Sunday afternoon in February. We felt rather at a loss - and also a bit embarrassed by what we couldn't think to say.
So these folks were on my mind as I walked around the streets of lower Manhattan. There was certainly no lack of stimulation in their world. Public housing, stores of both the mom and pop and huge department varieties, vendors on the streets, a zillion restaurants, and oceans of humanity. Just walking was an adventure (and good for over 500 minutes of intentional exercise last week!)
But what's so intriguing for me, is to imagine how one's life is affected by such stimulation - and in different ways than the stimulation I experience of bright clean snow, watching ice sailors and fishermen, and planning a trip to our next big town when I can't find something I need to buy here in my own town.
I absolutely would never willingly change places with folks who live in New York City. It's not my place. But visiting there - observing and imagining all of those lives, wondering how these folks's lives are different and similar to mine - oh yeah, that makes me feel alive! Alive - and surprisingly connected to all these people I'll never know! And already looking forward to my next trip to somewhere entirely different from my own place in the world! Alive!
Monday, February 26, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Monday Moment - Builing Social Connections
In yesterday's paper, I saw a notice that is the best incentive to pay attention to one's social health that I've ever seen. A man had been found dead sitting in his chair in front of the television. He'd been dead for a year, but was fairly well preserved because of the dry air in his home. And the TV was still on.
Neighbors had thought he had gone into a nursing home or was visiting family. It wasn't until someone noticed burst pipes that anyone investigated. His wife had died some years before and he lived alone - died alone, and remained alone for a year before anyone noticed.
Well that notice grabbed at my attention - and firmed my goal (yes, still another goal) to build my connection with friends and family.
Just this weekend I ran into two folks with whom I used to sing every Sunday afternoon for years. I hadn't seen them in way too long - and there are too many people I know and enjoy but haven't seen in way too long.
It's too easy to let time go by and get absorbed in one's daily-dailies, and not reach out to stay connected with people that matter.
So it's time to act on my goal of having four dinner parties this year. I like sharing a meal with friends, catching up on their lives, talking about what we all hope for in the weeks and months to come. I like sitting around our table and building layers onto our feelings of connection with one another.
But it's easy to let months go by without inviting people in for dinner. It's easy to find excuses. The carpet needs cleaning, the dog is sick, the hallway needs painting, what will we cook? What's on television?
Oh wait. There could be time for television even after I die. Let's have folks for dinner instead. I'll give myself a couple weeks - but I think for this first dinner party of 2007, I'll invite our neighbors!
Neighbors had thought he had gone into a nursing home or was visiting family. It wasn't until someone noticed burst pipes that anyone investigated. His wife had died some years before and he lived alone - died alone, and remained alone for a year before anyone noticed.
Well that notice grabbed at my attention - and firmed my goal (yes, still another goal) to build my connection with friends and family.
Just this weekend I ran into two folks with whom I used to sing every Sunday afternoon for years. I hadn't seen them in way too long - and there are too many people I know and enjoy but haven't seen in way too long.
It's too easy to let time go by and get absorbed in one's daily-dailies, and not reach out to stay connected with people that matter.
So it's time to act on my goal of having four dinner parties this year. I like sharing a meal with friends, catching up on their lives, talking about what we all hope for in the weeks and months to come. I like sitting around our table and building layers onto our feelings of connection with one another.
But it's easy to let months go by without inviting people in for dinner. It's easy to find excuses. The carpet needs cleaning, the dog is sick, the hallway needs painting, what will we cook? What's on television?
Oh wait. There could be time for television even after I die. Let's have folks for dinner instead. I'll give myself a couple weeks - but I think for this first dinner party of 2007, I'll invite our neighbors!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Monday Moment - Getting to the Joy End of the Continuum
Yesterday was a beautiful winter day and although my plan included going cross-country skiing to enjoy the beauty, I found myself delaying and procrastinating before I got myself out there. It was so tempting to sit by the fireplace and read the paper, maybe watch an old movie on tv, just sit.
Two things made me drag out my mittens and put on my boots.
Number 1: 300 minutes of intentional exercise a week. A great goal nags at you to do what you said you wanted to do. For the last six weeks, I've met my goal - and although I have yet to notice a single change in my body, I am bursting with pride in myself just for sticking with this plan of intentionally exercising 300 minutes each week. It will be a busy week so getting a good start to this week's 300 minutes was important. Great goals get you out!
The second motivating factor involved me nagging at my honey. "An hour outside would be good for you!" I said. "You've been working too hard. And it would be more fun for me if you came along." He can be a tough sale when he's got a big workload, but my nagging got him to put on his boots too. Support, company, added fun - all those things makes it easier to get off the couch too!
The rewards of our outing were rich. The sun was bright, the snow was squeaky with the cold, and the lake reflection bounced back arrows and winks of happy light. On the way home, our lungs glowing with the cleansed feeling of exertion in the cold, my honey said, "You forget how good you feel when you ski."
That made me think about the difference between last week's Monday Moment and what I'd write this week. Last week I wrote about not complaining about our winter weather. This week I'm writing about rejoicing in it. Now there's the difference between just not being sick and truly enjoying optimal wellness.
So many things in life seem to be on a continuum - and I like the end that's full of joy, wellness, and fun a whole lot better than just settling for the middle!
Two things made me drag out my mittens and put on my boots.
Number 1: 300 minutes of intentional exercise a week. A great goal nags at you to do what you said you wanted to do. For the last six weeks, I've met my goal - and although I have yet to notice a single change in my body, I am bursting with pride in myself just for sticking with this plan of intentionally exercising 300 minutes each week. It will be a busy week so getting a good start to this week's 300 minutes was important. Great goals get you out!
The second motivating factor involved me nagging at my honey. "An hour outside would be good for you!" I said. "You've been working too hard. And it would be more fun for me if you came along." He can be a tough sale when he's got a big workload, but my nagging got him to put on his boots too. Support, company, added fun - all those things makes it easier to get off the couch too!
The rewards of our outing were rich. The sun was bright, the snow was squeaky with the cold, and the lake reflection bounced back arrows and winks of happy light. On the way home, our lungs glowing with the cleansed feeling of exertion in the cold, my honey said, "You forget how good you feel when you ski."
That made me think about the difference between last week's Monday Moment and what I'd write this week. Last week I wrote about not complaining about our winter weather. This week I'm writing about rejoicing in it. Now there's the difference between just not being sick and truly enjoying optimal wellness.
So many things in life seem to be on a continuum - and I like the end that's full of joy, wellness, and fun a whole lot better than just settling for the middle!
Monday, February 5, 2007
Monday Moment - Equipping Myself
It's 3 degrees with a wind chill of -15 where I live. Brrrr...
Extreme cold with wind also means lake effect snows in my part of the world. Cold air collects moisture from Lakes Erie and Ontario and areas around us measure their snow in feet rather than inches. Lake effect snow happens mostly north of the NYS Thruway so we count our blessings that we live 6 miles south of that snowy boundary. We still get snow, but not like those intrepid souls further north by just 6 miles.
As you might expect the weather has been a major topic of conversation whenever and wherever folks gather. Much thought has been given to insulated boots, insulated sweatshirts, long underwear, and big thermos jugs of hot beverages.
And occasionally complaints have been registered. Funny thing, though. Even when I complain about the weather, it doesn't change.
I've been working on not putting energy where it doesn't count - like complaining about the weather - for at least 15 years. Stephen Covey introduced me to the idea in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and it made an impression. If I don't control something - like the weather or time or other people (even when I know what they should do) - then it does no good to put my energy there.
Instead I should put my energy where it does count - on what I control. And when it gets right down to it, the only thing I control is myself. Except I don't even control myself as much as I could and should! Hence my complaints about the weather.
But I am working on it! And remembering what I once heard adventure educator Craig Dobkin say, "There is no such thing as bad weather. There are only ill-equipped humans."
So my effort this week will be to equip myself to deal with all those things - and people - I do not control! No more complaints! I haven't got time. I have to focus on the really hard work of controlling myself!
Extreme cold with wind also means lake effect snows in my part of the world. Cold air collects moisture from Lakes Erie and Ontario and areas around us measure their snow in feet rather than inches. Lake effect snow happens mostly north of the NYS Thruway so we count our blessings that we live 6 miles south of that snowy boundary. We still get snow, but not like those intrepid souls further north by just 6 miles.
As you might expect the weather has been a major topic of conversation whenever and wherever folks gather. Much thought has been given to insulated boots, insulated sweatshirts, long underwear, and big thermos jugs of hot beverages.
And occasionally complaints have been registered. Funny thing, though. Even when I complain about the weather, it doesn't change.
I've been working on not putting energy where it doesn't count - like complaining about the weather - for at least 15 years. Stephen Covey introduced me to the idea in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and it made an impression. If I don't control something - like the weather or time or other people (even when I know what they should do) - then it does no good to put my energy there.
Instead I should put my energy where it does count - on what I control. And when it gets right down to it, the only thing I control is myself. Except I don't even control myself as much as I could and should! Hence my complaints about the weather.
But I am working on it! And remembering what I once heard adventure educator Craig Dobkin say, "There is no such thing as bad weather. There are only ill-equipped humans."
So my effort this week will be to equip myself to deal with all those things - and people - I do not control! No more complaints! I haven't got time. I have to focus on the really hard work of controlling myself!
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