In the past week, my thoughts have been about loss. So many tragic events in Virginia, Iraq, and all across the planet have gripped my heart. The loss of so many futures diminishes my soul as John Donne once said. "No man is an island. Any man's death dimishes me..."
And yet, loss of those who are distant from me, is not experienced in the same way as losing one who is close. So I confess that my sorrow for loss of human life has not been as present for me in the last week, as my sadness to lose a dear canine friend.
It's more than a little embarrassing to even mention my loss in the same breath as other tragedies. But it too is real. And I hope that my feelings about my little dog BY help to make me more empathetic to all who have lost someone they loved.
Each loss in my life has been different and I've reacted to each in different ways. But one thing I've noticed is that anytime I lose a human or an animal that I love, my soul echoes with other losses I've felt. And still amidst those sad echoes is a sense of privilege that I got to share all those lives at all.
BY and her brother TC (TCBY. Get it?) literally followed me home nearly 15 years ago, fell in love with Dave on sight, and wormed their way into our hearts until we were theirs - despite the fact that we had no business having three dogs! If they'd been well-behaved dogs, it might have been different. But each had unruly traits that made our household noisy, chaotic, and sometimes smelly! It didn't matter. We loved them all.
In the years since Dave - and then our oldest dog - died, BY got sweeter all the time. For almost a year now, she's been on heavy doses of heart medications and the vet has been warning us that she had only months left. Those months stretched out to almost a year. For every little relapse there seemed to be a rebound. It sometimes felt like she'd keep going and going - just not willing to leave me.
But even big hearts give out eventually, and when BY's quality of life took a steep decline, it was time. I'd never had to have an animal euthanized before, and though it's not something I look forward to doing ever again, I found it a process filled with dignity, respect, and love. It was a privilege to feel her soft white fur against my cheek as she slipped away.
At Dave's memorial service, I shared a book called Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant. In dog heaven, there are fields for running, geese to chase, clouds to sleep on, and tables to lie under while angels eat their supper. And for BY, there is Dave who will give her pets, popcorn, and lots of laptime.
Actually Dave and BY were both great greeters and comforters, so I'd bet they've been assigned to the welcoming committee. Dave will play rock and roll for all our young students and soldiers, and when they cry for the life they left behind, BY will gently lick away their tears.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Monday Moment for Health 4/16/07 Clearing Out!
I cleaned out a closet this week! Ok, that's not a big deal for a lot of folks, but for me it's a really big deal! And I shredded old documents from the last century ('97,'98,'99) too! Another big deal - for me! I was on a roll - and no I didn't have a fever! I know some of you might be wondering what on earth came over me!
You see I am genetically and environmentally programmed to be a pack-rat! I'm a keeper. It's nearly embarrassing how much stuff I keep. Only nearly embarrassing though, because the values of resourcefulness and thrift were deeply embedded in me by my depression era parents, and I can find a source of pride that balances out any potential embarrassment.
But even I have limits. And goals to clear clutter and simplify my life. In easily accessible stages! One closet at a time!
The closet in question has been a catch-all for crafts, wrapping paper and bows, all kinds of stuff that doesn't have a better home. I need that kind of closet, but this one hasn't yet been set up to function as effectively as it needs to. So out everything came (and some of it won't go back in) including the ineffective shelving system. I patched up the old holes, painted it so it looks crisp and clean, and when new shelves are installed, I have hopes that my storage system will become just that - a system!
In the process, I couldn't help but notice something that frequently gets in the way of my organizing and/or clearing out. To clean up a mess, one almost always has to create - at least temporarily - a bigger mess! I'm so much happier living with a messy closet than I am with all the contents of that closet spread around the room! In fact, the bigger mess has proved to be a motivator. I wasted no time - slapping two coats of paint on that pup - just as quick as drying time would allow. And now I can't wait for the 'project guy' to put up the shelves so I can continue the clean-up process!
In the meantime, I'm trying - and it doesn't come easily to me - to clear and de-clutter other parts of the house. I stashed beads, findings, pliers, scissors, and other assorted signs of creativity out of sight this weekend, and I'm determined to find some clear desk space before this day is out. Where might all this clearing fever lead me?
I'm hopeful - always in spite of great odds and mail that brings too much paper into my life daily - that this time I'll do more than just clear, I'll create a system in which I continually ask myself 'do I really need to keep this now?' Hope on, hope ever!
You see I am genetically and environmentally programmed to be a pack-rat! I'm a keeper. It's nearly embarrassing how much stuff I keep. Only nearly embarrassing though, because the values of resourcefulness and thrift were deeply embedded in me by my depression era parents, and I can find a source of pride that balances out any potential embarrassment.
But even I have limits. And goals to clear clutter and simplify my life. In easily accessible stages! One closet at a time!
The closet in question has been a catch-all for crafts, wrapping paper and bows, all kinds of stuff that doesn't have a better home. I need that kind of closet, but this one hasn't yet been set up to function as effectively as it needs to. So out everything came (and some of it won't go back in) including the ineffective shelving system. I patched up the old holes, painted it so it looks crisp and clean, and when new shelves are installed, I have hopes that my storage system will become just that - a system!
In the process, I couldn't help but notice something that frequently gets in the way of my organizing and/or clearing out. To clean up a mess, one almost always has to create - at least temporarily - a bigger mess! I'm so much happier living with a messy closet than I am with all the contents of that closet spread around the room! In fact, the bigger mess has proved to be a motivator. I wasted no time - slapping two coats of paint on that pup - just as quick as drying time would allow. And now I can't wait for the 'project guy' to put up the shelves so I can continue the clean-up process!
In the meantime, I'm trying - and it doesn't come easily to me - to clear and de-clutter other parts of the house. I stashed beads, findings, pliers, scissors, and other assorted signs of creativity out of sight this weekend, and I'm determined to find some clear desk space before this day is out. Where might all this clearing fever lead me?
I'm hopeful - always in spite of great odds and mail that brings too much paper into my life daily - that this time I'll do more than just clear, I'll create a system in which I continually ask myself 'do I really need to keep this now?' Hope on, hope ever!
Monday Moment for Health 4/9/07 Take a Break!
My students are on spring break this week. They care for kids either before or after school, so during school vacations, they either are off work altogether or they work twice as hard as usual because they care for kids all day long. Our classes - to prepare students to earn their School-Age Care Credential - are scheduled in the late morning between before- and after-school care. When school's not in session, my students would either have to take time off work or time off their vacation to attend class, and neither would be fair. So we schedule a break then too.
And I'm dancing for joy just as much as my students, I can tell you! Not only am I not teaching three different classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings, I'm not preparing for those classes or giving them any thought whatsoever! I am loving the break - even though I also love teaching the classes!
Now on this spring break, you won't find me on the road to someplace warmer. I'm still working in my home office as I do when I'm not on break. But with such a different attitude!
I'm attending to details that have been put off for weeks. I'm getting a good start on a new professional endeavor. I may even go so far as to sort, and clear, and file the swarm of paper that settles around my life and my office. I'll swim more often this week, and I'll go out to lunch with a friend. I'm practically giddy with all I'm doing this week that it doesn't feel like I have energy for on weeks when I teach!
As I noticed this vacation attitude creeping over me - while I'm pounding out work - I started reflecting on how healthy it is to take a break. A break helps us look at our work and our lives in a different, fresher, re-created way.
And while I fully recommend a week or two in the tropics, just about any kind of break is good for our souls. I frequently take "head vacation" breaks to imagine myself in the tropics, and those mini-breaks of just a few minutes are also good for my soul. At this time of year, I like to take "garden breaks" where I saunter around the garden marveling at what has sprouted today. I've even read where time or stress experts support just staring into space for five minutes at a time. I can do that!
However we take a break, we ought to remember just how good it feels and how much it helps. So we ought to do it more often! While I'm not a fan of MacDonald's they were definitely onto something when they said, "You deserve a break today!" You do! I hope you'll savor it as I'm savoring my break this week!
And I'm dancing for joy just as much as my students, I can tell you! Not only am I not teaching three different classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings, I'm not preparing for those classes or giving them any thought whatsoever! I am loving the break - even though I also love teaching the classes!
Now on this spring break, you won't find me on the road to someplace warmer. I'm still working in my home office as I do when I'm not on break. But with such a different attitude!
I'm attending to details that have been put off for weeks. I'm getting a good start on a new professional endeavor. I may even go so far as to sort, and clear, and file the swarm of paper that settles around my life and my office. I'll swim more often this week, and I'll go out to lunch with a friend. I'm practically giddy with all I'm doing this week that it doesn't feel like I have energy for on weeks when I teach!
As I noticed this vacation attitude creeping over me - while I'm pounding out work - I started reflecting on how healthy it is to take a break. A break helps us look at our work and our lives in a different, fresher, re-created way.
And while I fully recommend a week or two in the tropics, just about any kind of break is good for our souls. I frequently take "head vacation" breaks to imagine myself in the tropics, and those mini-breaks of just a few minutes are also good for my soul. At this time of year, I like to take "garden breaks" where I saunter around the garden marveling at what has sprouted today. I've even read where time or stress experts support just staring into space for five minutes at a time. I can do that!
However we take a break, we ought to remember just how good it feels and how much it helps. So we ought to do it more often! While I'm not a fan of MacDonald's they were definitely onto something when they said, "You deserve a break today!" You do! I hope you'll savor it as I'm savoring my break this week!
Monday Moment for Health 3/26/07 Transitions
I once had a colleague who said, "If you have a day off, then the next day you'll have an off day." I've never been sure I share his definition of 'off', but certainly I regularly experience transition challenges when I travel, from weekend to weekday, from working on one project to working on another.
Today has been such a transition for me. I arrived home late this morning exemplifying what must have inspired the term 'red-eye' to describe an overnight flight. I was in Phoenix for work (and ticked off another state on my life list! Only 5 more to go!) and squeezed in a couple more days so I could actually see more than the square mile surrounding the conference hotel.
And come to think of it, I had no difficulty whatsoever transitioning from work to play. But play to work - ah that's a different matter. Especially when you add in a mostly sleepless night and time zone readjustment.
I've learned to anticipate a pokey re-entry into my lilfe - and accomodate it as much as I can. I try not to schedule anything major my first day or two home, and if I need to sleep, I sleep. Today I attended to only things that were absolutely necessary - and let the rest go until tomorrow. (Sending you Monday's Moment is necessary or I wouldn't be doing it now!)
I do find it helps to fully unpack the bags, throw in a load of laundry, glance through the pile of mail, and share any treasures I accumulated on my trip. My head isn't ready to be here, so why not revisit being there while it's fresh in my mind.
It also helps to savor the sweet things of home - such happy canine friends, nothing else at all that feels like my own bed, a cozy chat with my bestest bud. And just a hint of anticipation for the week to come. I don't pretend to do much about the week to come, but taking a peek helps soften the shock as it arrives full force tomorrow morning.
So, after a substantial nap today, a few experimental toots on my new Native American flute, a private showing of the trip's photos, and a quiet dinner prepared by my guy for his prodigal woman, I don't think I'd call this an 'off' day. I'd prefer to think of it as an 'extra' day - an investment that will pay off - surely - tomorrow! Keep your fingers crossed for me!
Today has been such a transition for me. I arrived home late this morning exemplifying what must have inspired the term 'red-eye' to describe an overnight flight. I was in Phoenix for work (and ticked off another state on my life list! Only 5 more to go!) and squeezed in a couple more days so I could actually see more than the square mile surrounding the conference hotel.
And come to think of it, I had no difficulty whatsoever transitioning from work to play. But play to work - ah that's a different matter. Especially when you add in a mostly sleepless night and time zone readjustment.
I've learned to anticipate a pokey re-entry into my lilfe - and accomodate it as much as I can. I try not to schedule anything major my first day or two home, and if I need to sleep, I sleep. Today I attended to only things that were absolutely necessary - and let the rest go until tomorrow. (Sending you Monday's Moment is necessary or I wouldn't be doing it now!)
I do find it helps to fully unpack the bags, throw in a load of laundry, glance through the pile of mail, and share any treasures I accumulated on my trip. My head isn't ready to be here, so why not revisit being there while it's fresh in my mind.
It also helps to savor the sweet things of home - such happy canine friends, nothing else at all that feels like my own bed, a cozy chat with my bestest bud. And just a hint of anticipation for the week to come. I don't pretend to do much about the week to come, but taking a peek helps soften the shock as it arrives full force tomorrow morning.
So, after a substantial nap today, a few experimental toots on my new Native American flute, a private showing of the trip's photos, and a quiet dinner prepared by my guy for his prodigal woman, I don't think I'd call this an 'off' day. I'd prefer to think of it as an 'extra' day - an investment that will pay off - surely - tomorrow! Keep your fingers crossed for me!
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