Yesterday Ray and I went sailing and this morning I went for a kayak paddle. Life is so good! It's a beautiful time of year in a beautiful place.
This morning it occurred to me that this year - more than any other before - I have really claimed my place here in the Finger Lakes. Life is good!
And yet, my morning's appreciation was tinged with just a little regret. I have lived in this beautiful part of the world for nearly 30 years - and just now am feeling 'that Finger Lakes feeling'? What's that about?
Clearly for me, being on the water has had an enormous role in making me feel gloriously and thrillingly at home here in a way I never have before. I've really taken advantage of living near a lake this year - way more than any other summer up till now. And I started wondering just why it took me so long - when I clearly enjoy my time on the water so very much.
What I realized is that for many of the 29 years I've lived here, I got into the habit of thinking that other people had opportunities to sail or kayak or live on the water. Other people were born here. Their families bought lakefront property before it was outrageously priced, and therefore they naturally learned to sail and boat and do things that a person from landlocked Illinois hadn't learned. Other people had more time to really enjoy summer than a person who managed a children's camp as I did the first 12 years I lived here. Other people made a lot more money than I did - or do or ever will. Other people had family, partners, or friends who'd support them in trying out new water sports than I happened to have. Somehow a lot of the joys and privileges of Finger Lakes living was reserved for other people instead of for me.
Except of course that other people never stopped me from fully enjoying water sports. Nope. The one person that stopped me was me!
Now I wouldn't want to give the impression that I never found ways to enjoy our lake till this year. I swam and went to our public beaches often. I took sailboarding lessons, I've rented boats and taken numerous boat tours. I've been out on boats with friends. I even remember sitting on a beach on a gorgeous day and saying to my companion, "It just doesn't get any better than this!"
But I'm thrilled to say that it does! And it has!
From the perspective of hind sight, I feel now that until this year I acted a bit more like a tourist on our lake than a person who lives here! And the difference? It's all been about the choices I made this year - to paddle my kayak a lot more than ever before and to sail.
And here's the kick in the teeth. Neither of those choices was out of my reach - not really - in any of the 29 years I've lived here!
Oh it's undeniably easier now. There are still a lot of other people with more money than I - but I have a lot more now than I used to have. I have a partner who shares my love of the water and who has skills that I don't have and which really help get us out there. I can arrange my own schedule now in ways that were not always my perogative.
But all those things only make my choices easier - not possible. What makes the choices possible is me - my determination to get as much life from life as I can, my self-discipline that pushes me to follow through on wishes and desires, and the emerging refusal to believe in self-deluding limits that I have imposed upon myself!
I'd like to say I'm done with self-imposed limits in every arena of my life, but I have learned just how pervasive and insidiously convincing limits in my head can be. What I do say - as of this very instant - I am a person who strives to examine every limit she puts upon herself and to blast away those that might prevent me from enjoying anything at all that I might think other people are only allowed to enjoy. This I solemly pledge!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Monday Moment - Getting Rid of the Weeds
Is this freaking you out because you can't remember if this is actually Monday or Tuesday? Hmmm.... You're right. It's actually Tuesday. I'm a day late - and way more than a dollar short! But better a day late than not at all - that's what I decided this week.
This week I can say that I'm a sailor. Ray and I have now been out twice in our new-to-us-but-over-twenty-years-old 14-footer. I read in the paper that twice out and you can call yourself a sailor. How fun is that?
You've already heard lots of metaphors from my lake-long paddle and the getting ready for it. It seems like metaphors for life blossom when one is on the water. Maybe there's time for reflection that doesn't happen quite the same way on land, maybe there's something about the water that makes me ponder, maybe I'm just more aware. Whatever the reason, here's another one that occurred to me in reference to our first and second sailing expeditions.
We have two places we can launch our sailboat on our end of Canandaigua Lake. One is along a brook that feeds into the lake - which requires that you get your boat in the water and then paddle, row, or motor a distance of a hundred yards or so before you can hoist the sail. (I love using words like hoist!) The other is a more open harbor. There you can put your boat in the water, tie up at a dock and hoist your sails. Depending on the wind that day - and your ability to dodge all the moored boats in the harbor, you can sail right out of the harbor. But there's no guarantee that the wind will still be favorable when you need to come back into the harbor.
The question of getting out to the water and back to land again served as a considerable block in our thinking about a boat. Paddling looked like too big a job, we wanted to avoid the motor, and Ray likes to row. So when we found a boat that could be fitted with oar locks, we made the jump.
Our first trip out, we were both discouraged at the beginning and end of the sail. The middle - while we were on the water - was great, but rowing along the channel and out into the lake was a lot less effective than Ray had predicted. Every stroke of the oars that should have taken us yards at a time, seemed only to take us feet. We were starting to wonder about rowing - and beginning to price motors for our boat.
The second time out, we used the harbor - and had a far different experience. This time, when the wind died before we were all the way back, Ray shipped the oars and had us back at the dock speedily and with little effort. Aha! This time the whole experience was more about fun and less about work - which we both see as important to our going sailing often!
What was the difference? Here's the metaphor. Along the channel and at its mouth, there is a lot of weed growth in the water. Those weeds caused enough drag on our boat, that we went half as far with twice the effort. In the harbor where the water is less stagnant and far less weedy, we glided along like it was meant to be.
Which led me to think... When we take the time to clear away the weeds in our life - the doubts, the long-held resentments, the crud that drags us down - we don't have to work as hard to get where we want to be. And we can actually enjoy the trip feeling the rewards of results for our efforts.
Wasn't that worth waiting an extra day?
What weeds do you need to remove from your path before it's smooth sailing?
This week I can say that I'm a sailor. Ray and I have now been out twice in our new-to-us-but-over-twenty-years-old 14-footer. I read in the paper that twice out and you can call yourself a sailor. How fun is that?
You've already heard lots of metaphors from my lake-long paddle and the getting ready for it. It seems like metaphors for life blossom when one is on the water. Maybe there's time for reflection that doesn't happen quite the same way on land, maybe there's something about the water that makes me ponder, maybe I'm just more aware. Whatever the reason, here's another one that occurred to me in reference to our first and second sailing expeditions.
We have two places we can launch our sailboat on our end of Canandaigua Lake. One is along a brook that feeds into the lake - which requires that you get your boat in the water and then paddle, row, or motor a distance of a hundred yards or so before you can hoist the sail. (I love using words like hoist!) The other is a more open harbor. There you can put your boat in the water, tie up at a dock and hoist your sails. Depending on the wind that day - and your ability to dodge all the moored boats in the harbor, you can sail right out of the harbor. But there's no guarantee that the wind will still be favorable when you need to come back into the harbor.
The question of getting out to the water and back to land again served as a considerable block in our thinking about a boat. Paddling looked like too big a job, we wanted to avoid the motor, and Ray likes to row. So when we found a boat that could be fitted with oar locks, we made the jump.
Our first trip out, we were both discouraged at the beginning and end of the sail. The middle - while we were on the water - was great, but rowing along the channel and out into the lake was a lot less effective than Ray had predicted. Every stroke of the oars that should have taken us yards at a time, seemed only to take us feet. We were starting to wonder about rowing - and beginning to price motors for our boat.
The second time out, we used the harbor - and had a far different experience. This time, when the wind died before we were all the way back, Ray shipped the oars and had us back at the dock speedily and with little effort. Aha! This time the whole experience was more about fun and less about work - which we both see as important to our going sailing often!
What was the difference? Here's the metaphor. Along the channel and at its mouth, there is a lot of weed growth in the water. Those weeds caused enough drag on our boat, that we went half as far with twice the effort. In the harbor where the water is less stagnant and far less weedy, we glided along like it was meant to be.
Which led me to think... When we take the time to clear away the weeds in our life - the doubts, the long-held resentments, the crud that drags us down - we don't have to work as hard to get where we want to be. And we can actually enjoy the trip feeling the rewards of results for our efforts.
Wasn't that worth waiting an extra day?
What weeds do you need to remove from your path before it's smooth sailing?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Monday Moment - Learning at the Diner
At the diner where we go out for breakfast most Sundays, you can see some of the most professional people I've ever known - serving plates of eggs, home fries, and hash.
It's a small place where we go. The kitchen is tiny, there are three waitresses working at any given time, and there's often a line out the door. Put all that together, and it means that if you want your breakfast fast, you'd be better off going through McDonald's drive-thru.
But if you have patience and are willing to nurse a cup of coffee or tea before your eggs arrive, you'll meet some of the nicest people - on both sides of the counter. And you'll have a chance to watch people who are really, really good at their jobs!
That's a lot of what we do while we cup our hands around steaming mugs. We marvel at the consistent smiles, the absolute lack of wasted motion, the friendly banter while simultaneously adding up a tab! Occasionally, we also see considerable tact while putting an irascible customer in his or her place - with such grace that you just know that person will brag about what happened after they leave. More often we see the "Cheers" theme song come to life in a 'place where everyone knows your name,' as these professionals greet the regulars they call their 'freqs' (short for frequent customers.)
Every Sunday, you're likely to hear one or both of us say, "I wouldn't last a minute in this job!" In the terror of our minds' eyes, we see confusing orders, serving cold food, dropping whole trays on customers. It's enough to make us shudder.
But none of that happens with this veteran crew. Among the waitresses, the new kid on the block has been there fifteen years, and all the rest have logged in over twenty years behind the counter. It has to be a matter of choice for each of them, because they have the kind of skills that CEOs would treasure.
What comes to me most every Sunday is a strong sense of appreciation - for a job well done and a friendly word. And the idea that I can learn a lot about living and about working well while I sip my Earl Grey - which of course I don't have to specify because they all know that's what I prefer.
There have to be times when their backs ache, when they've heard the same tired joke fourteen times too often, when they wish they could lock the door at 7AM instead of 1PM. Oh they let you know that they're real people with lives beyond the diner - if you're kind enough to become a favorite freq. But they don't visit their aches, pains, or complaints on you - ever. Professionals, that's what they are.
It's a good weekly lesson for me. How can I do my job as well? How can I put my own grumps aside to be helpful to someone else? How can I find small jobs to do in the lulls between delivering the larger jobs? How can I exercise my memory to keep all my projects straight? All that I can learn just sitting at the counter of my favorite diner.
It's a small place where we go. The kitchen is tiny, there are three waitresses working at any given time, and there's often a line out the door. Put all that together, and it means that if you want your breakfast fast, you'd be better off going through McDonald's drive-thru.
But if you have patience and are willing to nurse a cup of coffee or tea before your eggs arrive, you'll meet some of the nicest people - on both sides of the counter. And you'll have a chance to watch people who are really, really good at their jobs!
That's a lot of what we do while we cup our hands around steaming mugs. We marvel at the consistent smiles, the absolute lack of wasted motion, the friendly banter while simultaneously adding up a tab! Occasionally, we also see considerable tact while putting an irascible customer in his or her place - with such grace that you just know that person will brag about what happened after they leave. More often we see the "Cheers" theme song come to life in a 'place where everyone knows your name,' as these professionals greet the regulars they call their 'freqs' (short for frequent customers.)
Every Sunday, you're likely to hear one or both of us say, "I wouldn't last a minute in this job!" In the terror of our minds' eyes, we see confusing orders, serving cold food, dropping whole trays on customers. It's enough to make us shudder.
But none of that happens with this veteran crew. Among the waitresses, the new kid on the block has been there fifteen years, and all the rest have logged in over twenty years behind the counter. It has to be a matter of choice for each of them, because they have the kind of skills that CEOs would treasure.
What comes to me most every Sunday is a strong sense of appreciation - for a job well done and a friendly word. And the idea that I can learn a lot about living and about working well while I sip my Earl Grey - which of course I don't have to specify because they all know that's what I prefer.
There have to be times when their backs ache, when they've heard the same tired joke fourteen times too often, when they wish they could lock the door at 7AM instead of 1PM. Oh they let you know that they're real people with lives beyond the diner - if you're kind enough to become a favorite freq. But they don't visit their aches, pains, or complaints on you - ever. Professionals, that's what they are.
It's a good weekly lesson for me. How can I do my job as well? How can I put my own grumps aside to be helpful to someone else? How can I find small jobs to do in the lulls between delivering the larger jobs? How can I exercise my memory to keep all my projects straight? All that I can learn just sitting at the counter of my favorite diner.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Monday Moment - Another Reason to Keep On Keeping On!
Well it's happened again. For the second week in 2007, I have failed to meet my exercise goals of 300 minutes per week. I anticipated that it would be difficult to fit in that much intentional exercise last week since I was visiting family and working with my good friends from Executive Edge at Ernst & Young's International Intern Leadership Conference. (This is such a cool program where we help E&Y facilitators know how to conduct exciting and challenging team-building activities with over 2000 student interns who have worked among Ernst & Young's other 130,000 firm members across the globe. You can find out more about it at www.executiveedgeinc.com!)
Amidst all the time we spend working together - and the time we spend socializing over wonderful dinners - my 300 minutes of intentional exercise just didn't happen. There was a lot of unintentional exercise - walking all over a huge convention center, bursts of running during energizing breaks, a little dancing, a lot of getting up and down from the floor, and one Qi Gong routine that was great fun to experience and that I think I'd like to practice on a regular basis. But I only did the briefest intentional exercise during the whole week.
By any measure, I'd have to say that I failed to meet my goal last week. And yet, I feel renewed and excited about my 300 minute goal in ways that surprise me. I've been committed and true to the goal without fail, but I have to admit that my excitement about it has been on the wane. It's just not easy to always fit in the time - and frankly I had hoped that I might be seeing more weight loss results from my commitment. I have lost a little weight - but a lot less than I'd hoped, and it hasn't been difficult to feel just a little discouraged with my meager loss.
Last week though, I discovered another way in which my 300 minute commitment has made a difference. I mentioned earlier that there is a lot of getting up and down from the floor in the work I was doing last week. We introduce an activity, then do it, and then sit down on the floor to talk about what the group did well, how the team's behavior reminds them of real life experiences, and what lessons they want to take away - to their lives and to the next activity. It's up, down, up, down, up, down, all day long.
In past years, I'd start to ache from all the up and down by at least the second day - and know that I'd have four more days to go! I discovered muscles I apparently hadn't used in a long time, and I got very stiff and sore. But this year, I managed the ups and downs with surprising ease. I didn't need the Advil and Aleve that I'd relied on in other years. It felt good to sit down - and it felt good to get back up again. Clearly I was both stronger and more flexible this year - and that has to be due to my 300 minutes of exercise commitment.
See why I'm excited? I saw results! They weren't the results I was hoping for - 15 pounds gone instead of a measly 6 - but they were results nonetheless! I handled the rigor of our up and down work with more ease than some of my younger colleagues - and more importantly than I did just a year ago! Hooray! One more reason to keep on keeping on!
Amidst all the time we spend working together - and the time we spend socializing over wonderful dinners - my 300 minutes of intentional exercise just didn't happen. There was a lot of unintentional exercise - walking all over a huge convention center, bursts of running during energizing breaks, a little dancing, a lot of getting up and down from the floor, and one Qi Gong routine that was great fun to experience and that I think I'd like to practice on a regular basis. But I only did the briefest intentional exercise during the whole week.
By any measure, I'd have to say that I failed to meet my goal last week. And yet, I feel renewed and excited about my 300 minute goal in ways that surprise me. I've been committed and true to the goal without fail, but I have to admit that my excitement about it has been on the wane. It's just not easy to always fit in the time - and frankly I had hoped that I might be seeing more weight loss results from my commitment. I have lost a little weight - but a lot less than I'd hoped, and it hasn't been difficult to feel just a little discouraged with my meager loss.
Last week though, I discovered another way in which my 300 minute commitment has made a difference. I mentioned earlier that there is a lot of getting up and down from the floor in the work I was doing last week. We introduce an activity, then do it, and then sit down on the floor to talk about what the group did well, how the team's behavior reminds them of real life experiences, and what lessons they want to take away - to their lives and to the next activity. It's up, down, up, down, up, down, all day long.
In past years, I'd start to ache from all the up and down by at least the second day - and know that I'd have four more days to go! I discovered muscles I apparently hadn't used in a long time, and I got very stiff and sore. But this year, I managed the ups and downs with surprising ease. I didn't need the Advil and Aleve that I'd relied on in other years. It felt good to sit down - and it felt good to get back up again. Clearly I was both stronger and more flexible this year - and that has to be due to my 300 minutes of exercise commitment.
See why I'm excited? I saw results! They weren't the results I was hoping for - 15 pounds gone instead of a measly 6 - but they were results nonetheless! I handled the rigor of our up and down work with more ease than some of my younger colleagues - and more importantly than I did just a year ago! Hooray! One more reason to keep on keeping on!
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