I’ve taken off the last couple Mondays because all my writing energy seemed used up in my efforts to record the histories of my paternal grandparents. Such a process that is – rewarding and gratifying to realize just how much of who I am comes from those who have come before.
Such ideas have been much in my mind of late – and especially today which marks the tenth anniversary of the death of my first husband Dave Spadavecchia. Ten years. It’s a long time – and yet it sometimes feels like yesterday. So much learning and growth – because of having Dave in my life – and because of living through losing him. And because of learning to love again.
I’ve spent this day, as I do every year, reading through journals and letters and remembering. It’s my ritual to strengthen the joys Dave and I shared – to make those joys more present in my daily life. There’s pain in remembering too, but the joys are worth the pain.
Today, I came across a piece that Dave wrote when he was healing from a broken ankle. I’d like to share it with you because it gives glimpses into Dave’s remarkable character – and because I find it so hopeful.
Dave didn’t consider himself a writer – and until I read his work, I never realized how much spelling and typing rely on vision. Compulsive editors among you will want to run this through spell check, but I’ve left Dave’s words just as the blind guy typed them some twelve years ago. I find his errors very dear, but it’s okay with me if you don’t see it the same way. But I do hope you’ll look beyond the spelling and grammar to see – and feel – the beauty of Dave’s healing stream.
THE HEALING STREAM by David Spadavecchia
Healing is the body's way of repairing itself from some kind of damage. Many things can aid in this process like medicine, physical therapy, doctors and best of all the mind.
To start with a bit of information about the princible ccharacter, me. At the time of the incident and I will call this an incident and not an accident because I do not want to be thought of as accident prone but incident prone. At the time I was 51 and had been a diabetic for 39 years and had suffered many of the complacations of this disease. Diabetes can be like a millstone around your neck, a weight that can pull you down or if you imagine it in a knapsack on your back it can make you stronger in some ways. At times I feel both ways, dreined and stronger.
The incident was that I suffered a compound fracture of my right ankle. At our local hospital an orthopedic surgeon told me what he would do for a normal person but with my history he said that there was a good chance that I might lose my foot and that I should go to the hospital where I am treated usually. After being transported there I was lucky enough to be treated by a caring and understanding orthopedic surgeon who after talking with me and my wife, Sally agreedthat he was going to do everything possible to save my foot.
After the ankle was set and plastic surgury closed the open wound with a skin graft Sally and I were talking about what I could doto help the healing process and she came up with the idea of the stream.
Sally has this great attraction for water and she likes to share things with me so she suggested that I should visualize putting my foot in a stream and have the water with healing power wash over my foot and help with the healing.
While laying in bthe hospital I started to visualize sitting on a bank and putting my foot in the stream. I had on my leg an external fixator which is a number of stainless steelpins screwed into my shin bone and foot and connected by rods to keep the bones from moving. After a while I decided to expand my dream stream instead of sitting on the bank I decided to remake the stream so I could lay in it. I pictured the stream about eight feet across and one and a half feet deep with slightly cool water moving gentlly along so I could have my leg submerged. The sun was warm and there were peacefully pleasant sounds like birds and a little breeze rustling the leaves. Now I have room for both Sally and me to recline in the stream and enjoy each other's 's company with both Sally and the stream helping me heal.
At home Sally sant out E mail to people we lnew to tell them what had happened and about the stream. Many replied with their own visualizations many with great ideas. One especially was from Betty who gave me the idea of a waterfall whose spray had a reinbow of healing power. So I built onto my stream with a waterfall about eight feet tall falling into a pond surrounded by as Sally calls them dancing willows instead of weeping willows. I love her images they are so poetic.
When ever I was just laying there, daydreaming or going to sleep I would visualize enjoying the stream and waterfall. You see I also could stand under the waterfall cleansing away any infection and giving healing to my whole body. While picturing all this I started to visualize Sally and me walking into a local shoe store and buying a pair of athletic shoes.
After three days the doctors unwrapped the bandage covering the skin graft and said it looked like it was coming along great and they had great hope that it was on it's way to healing. After six weeks the skin graft was completely healed and the doctor said there was no reason to see him again.
In the meanwhile the bone is taking longer to mend.
Postscript by Sally Crosiar
What Dave didn’t say in his description above is that the idea for the stream came as a counter-measure to a misguided statement made by a resident at Strong Memorial Hospital. Dave had been in the hospital for a day or so, and had been visited by numerous residents and interns (we called them doc-wannabe’s). While many were skilled and kind, one made a very negative impression.
Being in the hospital robs one of independence and control of one’s life, and in Dave’s case, he was also robbed of being able to manage his own insulin and blood sugar levels. He had limited choice of food, his nurses weren’t always smart enough to give him the amount of insulin he requested, and he had limited exercise opportunities. His normal disciplined approach to managing his blood sugar was disrupted.
On this particular day, his blood sugar was high. And this resident treated Dave like he was newly diagnosed with diabetes – and in the way he was treated when he was diagnosed at age 12. She yelled at him for having a high blood sugar level. Like it was something he could control. She went on to say, “When you let your blood sugar get that high, you might as well soak your wound in a cesspool filled with sewage.”
No wonder Dave was upset. When he told me about it, we did our best to find out her name and when we couldn’t do that, we lodged a complaint to the attending. She’s lucky that she never had to encounter me personally – but her future patients may not be.
At any rate, the idea for the stream came as one way to reverse the horrible image she had put in Dave’s mind – an image that might have robbed him of hope and will and perhaps his foot. We couldn’t unsay what she had said, but we sure could create an image that would fill Dave’s mind with pleasant, healing, and hopeful thoughts.
He gave me credit for the idea, but it should be clear that he provided all the details, and all the vibrancy of this image. And he took himself to the stream over and over again in the healing process.
I’m convinced that the stream created enough hope to fuel Dave’s determination to heal. And heal he did. The skin graft and pin sites healed completely within weeks. The ankle bone did take longer to heal, but did heal successfully in six months time. Dave had full use of both legs and feet until he died two years later – the proud owner of not one but three pairs of specially fitted athletic shoes.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Monday Moment - Hooping and Hollering
Remember how a few weeks ago I spent a weekend working with 4-H teens who will help afterschool programs find ways to create environments where it’s easier to make healthy choices? Well, I’ve just created an environmental change in my home that really excites me! I have created a “hooping zone!”
During my weekend with 4-H’ers I was re-introduced to hula hoops. Except these weren’t your Dollar Store variety hula hoops – or the ones that some of you might remember from earlier days. The hoops we played with that weekend were bigger, heavier, and even had massaging bumps to them. But their most important feature was that I could make them work! I could hula hoop as a kid, but somewhere along the long line of my life, I lost my hula hoop ability. So when I was able to get the hang of it again, I wanted more!
Back at home, I started looking around the internet and was amazed at the plethora of hooping sites. Who knew? Lots of sites want to sell you a hoop, and they do make it seem like a good investment. “Lose an inch around your waist and 4 pounds a month!” And in just 10 minutes a day! Sounds good, huh? Maybe too good.
I wanted to understand the physiology so I kept looking. I haven’t found a lot of the research-based information I’d really like, but I found enough to keep me interested. Sources like Consumer Reports, the Cooper Aerobics Center, the American Council on Exercise say that hooping does have benefits for the abs, core muscles, balance, pelvic flexibility, and is a mild cardiovascular activity. And besides, they say, if it’s fun, people will actually exercise.
Okay, I want to try it. But I wanted a cheaper alternative for myself and to promote among folks who work with kids than the $40-50 models available on the internet. I remembered that Ray’s sister had built her own hoop, and that seemed like a good place to start. I took a trip to Lowes, engaged Ray’s help, and voila! Ray discovered a site that has great instructions and photos of how to build a hoop (http://www.jasonunbound.com/hoops.html) and in a matter of minutes, I was trying out the first of my very own hoops!
It’s only the first of my hoops because another possibility is to add sand or water inside the hoop to add weight. I figure I’ll work with my un-weighted hoop a few weeks and then experiment with a 3-pound and a 5-pound hoop. And all for the price of about $3.50 per hoop. (Of course I probably won’t be able to resist decorating my black hoop with some funky colored tape which will add a little extra cost – and a few more ounces!)
The environmental factor is having a hoop and a ‘hoop zone’ – a space big enough to not knock down anything that might be in my hoop’s orbit. But the tougher factor is to actually use the thing! My initial goal is to hoop for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening, and gradually increase a minute at a time – in addition to using my stationary bike and swimming. I’m only three days into this goal, and I can tell you that I think it’s going to be easy – because using the hoop is fun!
As I’ve explored sites like hooping.org, I find that I could even get together with other hoopers at a nearby park. Huh. Who knew? I don’t know that I’ll ever step quite so deep into the group hoop territory, but I am certainly excited about having a new exercise alternative to get me moving in the dead of winter. Halle-hoopla!
May you discover some new alternative that excites you in the coming week!
Sally
During my weekend with 4-H’ers I was re-introduced to hula hoops. Except these weren’t your Dollar Store variety hula hoops – or the ones that some of you might remember from earlier days. The hoops we played with that weekend were bigger, heavier, and even had massaging bumps to them. But their most important feature was that I could make them work! I could hula hoop as a kid, but somewhere along the long line of my life, I lost my hula hoop ability. So when I was able to get the hang of it again, I wanted more!
Back at home, I started looking around the internet and was amazed at the plethora of hooping sites. Who knew? Lots of sites want to sell you a hoop, and they do make it seem like a good investment. “Lose an inch around your waist and 4 pounds a month!” And in just 10 minutes a day! Sounds good, huh? Maybe too good.
I wanted to understand the physiology so I kept looking. I haven’t found a lot of the research-based information I’d really like, but I found enough to keep me interested. Sources like Consumer Reports, the Cooper Aerobics Center, the American Council on Exercise say that hooping does have benefits for the abs, core muscles, balance, pelvic flexibility, and is a mild cardiovascular activity. And besides, they say, if it’s fun, people will actually exercise.
Okay, I want to try it. But I wanted a cheaper alternative for myself and to promote among folks who work with kids than the $40-50 models available on the internet. I remembered that Ray’s sister had built her own hoop, and that seemed like a good place to start. I took a trip to Lowes, engaged Ray’s help, and voila! Ray discovered a site that has great instructions and photos of how to build a hoop (http://www.jasonunbound.com/hoops.html) and in a matter of minutes, I was trying out the first of my very own hoops!
It’s only the first of my hoops because another possibility is to add sand or water inside the hoop to add weight. I figure I’ll work with my un-weighted hoop a few weeks and then experiment with a 3-pound and a 5-pound hoop. And all for the price of about $3.50 per hoop. (Of course I probably won’t be able to resist decorating my black hoop with some funky colored tape which will add a little extra cost – and a few more ounces!)
The environmental factor is having a hoop and a ‘hoop zone’ – a space big enough to not knock down anything that might be in my hoop’s orbit. But the tougher factor is to actually use the thing! My initial goal is to hoop for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening, and gradually increase a minute at a time – in addition to using my stationary bike and swimming. I’m only three days into this goal, and I can tell you that I think it’s going to be easy – because using the hoop is fun!
As I’ve explored sites like hooping.org, I find that I could even get together with other hoopers at a nearby park. Huh. Who knew? I don’t know that I’ll ever step quite so deep into the group hoop territory, but I am certainly excited about having a new exercise alternative to get me moving in the dead of winter. Halle-hoopla!
May you discover some new alternative that excites you in the coming week!
Sally
Monday, December 1, 2008
Monday Moment - a Happy Memory
Some of you who have been with me for a while know that every year about this time, I tackle a project of writing down stories about one of my ancestors. For lots and lots of years, I had “Write the Family History” on my to do list – a project that proved too enormous and too daunting to ever actually do. Then Ray’s sister – who did set down a family history – inspired a way to break down the daunting into an achievable goal.
The whole history is too big, but if I take one person – or one set of grandparents – every year, the chunks of the elephant become more chewable. It’s been a wonderful process for me – and one that achieves goal status as it has a deadline of a Christmas deliverable to members of my family. My history of some ancestor is my gift to them – whether they like it or not.
So far, I put together a collection of stories about my father, another collection about my mother, and still another about my maternal grandparents. This year’s collection will be about my paternal grandparents, Eli Ives Crosiar and Mary Malinda Ogan Crosiar.
I never knew my Grandpa Eli who died ten years before I was born, but Grandma Crosiar was a fixture in the first fourteen years of my life. We lived in one side of a big old farmhouse built by Grandpa Eli’s father Amasa (who might be next year’s project) and Grandma lived in the other side. Like any kid would, I took Grandma’s presence for granted in many ways. And yet I was also aware that having her so close was something that other kids didn’t have – something unique and special.
As I’ve been thinking about how to portray Grandma’s history in our family, it’s the simple memories of my childhood that keep taking center stage. When I was little and all the other kids were in school, I loved being invited to join Grandma for lunch of rice and dark brown sugar. We often had rice and brown sugar for lunch on our side of the house too, but Mom always bought light brown sugar. Grandma’s dark brown sugar seemed like a far bigger treat.
Of course it would have been rude to ask if I could come to lunch, but I learned to engage Grandma in a morning conversation that might result in an invitation for my favorite lunch. It was a delicate negotiation. I could casually wonder what Grandma was planning for lunch. I could even perhaps remind her how much she enjoyed rice. But I couldn’t ever say that I wanted rice for lunch. That would be going too far.
From an adult vantage point, I can see just how transparent my ploys must have been, and yet they were given credence because no one ever doubted Grandma’s word. If she said that she had issued an invitation, then I was invited, and there were no more questions to ask. Grandma was well-regarded as a person who said exactly what she meant. Other stories will do more to reveal the firmness of character that was among Grandma’s most prominent features.
For now, though, I’m just enjoying the memory of a woman who allowed herself to be cajoled into inviting a little girl for lunch. I don’t often bring the whole memory of lunch with Grandma into focus – and I wouldn’t have now without my annual ancestor biography task. But I do think of Grandma anytime I use or buy brown sugar – because dark is still my choice!
May you bring a happy memory into clear focus this week – or maybe help create one for a little kid in your own life!
The whole history is too big, but if I take one person – or one set of grandparents – every year, the chunks of the elephant become more chewable. It’s been a wonderful process for me – and one that achieves goal status as it has a deadline of a Christmas deliverable to members of my family. My history of some ancestor is my gift to them – whether they like it or not.
So far, I put together a collection of stories about my father, another collection about my mother, and still another about my maternal grandparents. This year’s collection will be about my paternal grandparents, Eli Ives Crosiar and Mary Malinda Ogan Crosiar.
I never knew my Grandpa Eli who died ten years before I was born, but Grandma Crosiar was a fixture in the first fourteen years of my life. We lived in one side of a big old farmhouse built by Grandpa Eli’s father Amasa (who might be next year’s project) and Grandma lived in the other side. Like any kid would, I took Grandma’s presence for granted in many ways. And yet I was also aware that having her so close was something that other kids didn’t have – something unique and special.
As I’ve been thinking about how to portray Grandma’s history in our family, it’s the simple memories of my childhood that keep taking center stage. When I was little and all the other kids were in school, I loved being invited to join Grandma for lunch of rice and dark brown sugar. We often had rice and brown sugar for lunch on our side of the house too, but Mom always bought light brown sugar. Grandma’s dark brown sugar seemed like a far bigger treat.
Of course it would have been rude to ask if I could come to lunch, but I learned to engage Grandma in a morning conversation that might result in an invitation for my favorite lunch. It was a delicate negotiation. I could casually wonder what Grandma was planning for lunch. I could even perhaps remind her how much she enjoyed rice. But I couldn’t ever say that I wanted rice for lunch. That would be going too far.
From an adult vantage point, I can see just how transparent my ploys must have been, and yet they were given credence because no one ever doubted Grandma’s word. If she said that she had issued an invitation, then I was invited, and there were no more questions to ask. Grandma was well-regarded as a person who said exactly what she meant. Other stories will do more to reveal the firmness of character that was among Grandma’s most prominent features.
For now, though, I’m just enjoying the memory of a woman who allowed herself to be cajoled into inviting a little girl for lunch. I don’t often bring the whole memory of lunch with Grandma into focus – and I wouldn’t have now without my annual ancestor biography task. But I do think of Grandma anytime I use or buy brown sugar – because dark is still my choice!
May you bring a happy memory into clear focus this week – or maybe help create one for a little kid in your own life!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Monday Moment - I Thank a Bird!
Yesterday morning I experienced one of those all too common occurrences – a recognition of something I will never know. I looked out my bedroom window at the bones of the white birch against a brilliant blue sky and noticed a shape I couldn’t quite identify out on one of the higher limbs. All the leaves are gone now, so this shape was not a clump of leaves. Must be a bird, I thought, though it seems very still for a bird. I watched for several minutes and still the shape remained – and remained mysterious to me.
Then our dog Sam required an outing to the backyard, and as I heard the door open, I finally saw the shape move. Yes. A bird. And it looks like its head is red. Huh. The head seems very small in relation to the rest of the shape. It must be facing the woods away from me. There’s that flash of red again. I think. A female cardinal? The head looks more round than crested. I wonder… Oh. There it goes, and from here I can’t tell what kind of bird it is. Huh. I’ll never know.
And that’s when it hit me that this was just one of hundreds of bits of knowledge that I will never know. I will never know what it’s like to grow up in the seashore, or the mountains, or a city. I will never know everyone who lives in my community. I will never know how to work an algebra problem or do brain surgery.
Well, okay. I could learn how to work an algebra problem – if I had a really good teacher and a desire that was stronger than my long-held math phobia. But there would be the rub. I don’t imagine that I’ll ever have that desire in this particular lifetime. As to brain surgery? Might you not need to know algebra in order to learn brain surgery?
What of all those other things I do not currently know, but would dearly love to have embedded in my brain? How to speak Italian, how to create stained glass windows, the definition and correct spelling of every word in the English Oxford Dictionary, how many different variations of snowflake patterns there really are, just what kind of bird that was sitting in my birch tree yesterday morning. And so much more. Alas, even if I were able to focus my energies, so many things I’d like to learn will remain out of reach. There just won’t be time for everything. Alas.
As you might imagine, that mysterious bird has got me thinking about which of all the bits of knowledge I might acquire are the bits that I really want to acquire for my very own in the time I have left in this lifetime. And as you might also imagine, the reality that regardless of where I focus my learning, there will still be so many trillions of things I will never know – well I could find that reality more than a little discouraging.
On the one hand.
And yet, on the other hand, I actually find the vastness of the unknowable incredibly thrilling! Maybe it’s my streak of perversity at work, but I love the idea that so much of the universe is inscrutable to me. Maybe it’s just that the immense mystery takes the pressure off one minor player in said universe. (Whew!) But I think I love the mind-boggling enormity because the very existence of so many puzzles and stumpers is so darned interesting! There are so many questions I might someday figure out! Even if there are even more enigmas that won’t be revealed to me, won’t it be fun to riddle out what I can? And don’t the limits of time and opportunity actually add to the cliffhanger adventure of living?
I think it does. Or at least I choose to find the magnitude of potential inquiry exciting, provocative, and exhilarating. So in this week of Thanksgiving, that small shape sitting on a birch tree will be among my long list of gratitudes. This unknown and unknowable bird inspired a flight of present and – I sincerely hope – future hair-raising thought. Bless that bird and all it represents.
May you be surrounded by all that inspires your deepest gratitude this week! Happy Thanksgiving!
Sally
Then our dog Sam required an outing to the backyard, and as I heard the door open, I finally saw the shape move. Yes. A bird. And it looks like its head is red. Huh. The head seems very small in relation to the rest of the shape. It must be facing the woods away from me. There’s that flash of red again. I think. A female cardinal? The head looks more round than crested. I wonder… Oh. There it goes, and from here I can’t tell what kind of bird it is. Huh. I’ll never know.
And that’s when it hit me that this was just one of hundreds of bits of knowledge that I will never know. I will never know what it’s like to grow up in the seashore, or the mountains, or a city. I will never know everyone who lives in my community. I will never know how to work an algebra problem or do brain surgery.
Well, okay. I could learn how to work an algebra problem – if I had a really good teacher and a desire that was stronger than my long-held math phobia. But there would be the rub. I don’t imagine that I’ll ever have that desire in this particular lifetime. As to brain surgery? Might you not need to know algebra in order to learn brain surgery?
What of all those other things I do not currently know, but would dearly love to have embedded in my brain? How to speak Italian, how to create stained glass windows, the definition and correct spelling of every word in the English Oxford Dictionary, how many different variations of snowflake patterns there really are, just what kind of bird that was sitting in my birch tree yesterday morning. And so much more. Alas, even if I were able to focus my energies, so many things I’d like to learn will remain out of reach. There just won’t be time for everything. Alas.
As you might imagine, that mysterious bird has got me thinking about which of all the bits of knowledge I might acquire are the bits that I really want to acquire for my very own in the time I have left in this lifetime. And as you might also imagine, the reality that regardless of where I focus my learning, there will still be so many trillions of things I will never know – well I could find that reality more than a little discouraging.
On the one hand.
And yet, on the other hand, I actually find the vastness of the unknowable incredibly thrilling! Maybe it’s my streak of perversity at work, but I love the idea that so much of the universe is inscrutable to me. Maybe it’s just that the immense mystery takes the pressure off one minor player in said universe. (Whew!) But I think I love the mind-boggling enormity because the very existence of so many puzzles and stumpers is so darned interesting! There are so many questions I might someday figure out! Even if there are even more enigmas that won’t be revealed to me, won’t it be fun to riddle out what I can? And don’t the limits of time and opportunity actually add to the cliffhanger adventure of living?
I think it does. Or at least I choose to find the magnitude of potential inquiry exciting, provocative, and exhilarating. So in this week of Thanksgiving, that small shape sitting on a birch tree will be among my long list of gratitudes. This unknown and unknowable bird inspired a flight of present and – I sincerely hope – future hair-raising thought. Bless that bird and all it represents.
May you be surrounded by all that inspires your deepest gratitude this week! Happy Thanksgiving!
Sally
Monday, November 17, 2008
Monday Moment - Change the Environment Instead of the Person
Over the weekend I worked with 4-H Choose Health Ambassadors who are teens who will teach the benefits of healthy eating and healthy play to kids in afterschool settings. In addition to teaching lessons designed to help kids learn healthy food and activity practices, they’ll also be surveying those kids to find out how easy it is to make healthy choices in the afterschool environment.
It’s been my job to put together the survey tool that our teens will use. It’s based on similar work I did with 4-H Camps last summer, and it has really opened my eyes about how much our environment affects the choices we make.
It’s always been easy to see a disconnect between teaching nutrition in school when French fries were the only vegetable kids were served in the school cafeteria. And it’s not surprising that kids are more likely to be active and to eat vegetables if adults around them also play and eat vegetables. We could probably even figure out that if kids play outside, they tend to be more active than if they play inside.
But did you know that kids are more likely to eat enough vegetables if two or more are served with every meal? It makes sense when you think about it. If I don’t like green beans (and I confess that I do not) and that’s the only veggie served, I’ll probably pass. But if there are also carrots, I’ll have an alternative that I do like. Did you know that research shows that kids – and adults too – are more likely to eat a fruit or vegetable for a snack if it is already cut into slices? Me too. When it’s easy, I like to choose healthy, but the minute it gets hard, then choosing healthy takes an extra effort.
So the trick – with kids and with ourselves – is to create an environment where it’s easy to choose healthy. And the new thinking is that the best opportunity to make a difference in what kids – and adults – eat is to changing the environments in which they live, work, and play.
We made a good start at shifting environment toward health at the weekend training program for the Choose Health Ambassadors. There was plenty of good food – and many healthy alternatives. There were all kinds of fun activities to do – planned and spontaneous. Teens weren’t told that they couldn’t spend their time exercising their thumbs with hand-held video games. They just didn’t want to, because there were too many other fun things to do. Adults who worked with teens participated in active play right along with the kids and ate the same healthy foods. Beverages were limited to water and milk with no soda, lemonade, or other sweetened drinks. Teens and adults shared a commitment to choose healthy – and it was easy to do so!
So what can we adults do to make it easier to choose healthy in our own environments? We can rid our cupboards of food items that tempt but that don’t contribute to our nutrient needs. If we have to go out to get ice cream, we’re less likely to pull out the tub just any old time. We can make physical activity a routine – something we enjoy and that we do as a matter of habit. We can fill our lives with more interesting things to do than watch television, and we can avoid mindless eating when we do watch tv.
Probably, though, the one thing that will make the most difference, will be to surround ourselves with people who are committed to make healthy choices. We might have to take leadership – to give away the M&M’s, to bring whole wheat crackers and low-fat cheese for a snack instead of cookies or cake, to keep a bowl of orange or apple slices in our fridges to ward off snack-attacks, to suggest a walk as an alternative to the Wheel of Fortune, and to actively recruit friends and family to join us in healthier pursuits. And when we do, I’m willing to bet that we’ll find it easy to choose healthy!
What’s one small change you can make in your home or office environment that will help you be healthier today?
Sally
It’s been my job to put together the survey tool that our teens will use. It’s based on similar work I did with 4-H Camps last summer, and it has really opened my eyes about how much our environment affects the choices we make.
It’s always been easy to see a disconnect between teaching nutrition in school when French fries were the only vegetable kids were served in the school cafeteria. And it’s not surprising that kids are more likely to be active and to eat vegetables if adults around them also play and eat vegetables. We could probably even figure out that if kids play outside, they tend to be more active than if they play inside.
But did you know that kids are more likely to eat enough vegetables if two or more are served with every meal? It makes sense when you think about it. If I don’t like green beans (and I confess that I do not) and that’s the only veggie served, I’ll probably pass. But if there are also carrots, I’ll have an alternative that I do like. Did you know that research shows that kids – and adults too – are more likely to eat a fruit or vegetable for a snack if it is already cut into slices? Me too. When it’s easy, I like to choose healthy, but the minute it gets hard, then choosing healthy takes an extra effort.
So the trick – with kids and with ourselves – is to create an environment where it’s easy to choose healthy. And the new thinking is that the best opportunity to make a difference in what kids – and adults – eat is to changing the environments in which they live, work, and play.
We made a good start at shifting environment toward health at the weekend training program for the Choose Health Ambassadors. There was plenty of good food – and many healthy alternatives. There were all kinds of fun activities to do – planned and spontaneous. Teens weren’t told that they couldn’t spend their time exercising their thumbs with hand-held video games. They just didn’t want to, because there were too many other fun things to do. Adults who worked with teens participated in active play right along with the kids and ate the same healthy foods. Beverages were limited to water and milk with no soda, lemonade, or other sweetened drinks. Teens and adults shared a commitment to choose healthy – and it was easy to do so!
So what can we adults do to make it easier to choose healthy in our own environments? We can rid our cupboards of food items that tempt but that don’t contribute to our nutrient needs. If we have to go out to get ice cream, we’re less likely to pull out the tub just any old time. We can make physical activity a routine – something we enjoy and that we do as a matter of habit. We can fill our lives with more interesting things to do than watch television, and we can avoid mindless eating when we do watch tv.
Probably, though, the one thing that will make the most difference, will be to surround ourselves with people who are committed to make healthy choices. We might have to take leadership – to give away the M&M’s, to bring whole wheat crackers and low-fat cheese for a snack instead of cookies or cake, to keep a bowl of orange or apple slices in our fridges to ward off snack-attacks, to suggest a walk as an alternative to the Wheel of Fortune, and to actively recruit friends and family to join us in healthier pursuits. And when we do, I’m willing to bet that we’ll find it easy to choose healthy!
What’s one small change you can make in your home or office environment that will help you be healthier today?
Sally
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday Moment - Different Worlds
I’ve often found great pleasure in hanging out with people who are older and also with people who are younger than I. Over the weekend I had both opportunities.
On Saturday, we were invited to share an evening and a meal with three other couples we know mostly through sailing and Halloween. Most of these folks have a few years on us – though you wouldn’t really know it. All are active sailors, most also downhill ski, and all are game to act like a kid on Halloween.
Conversation topics ranged. Upcoming ski trips, past and anticipated travel. Stories about our various canine friends. Early college days when poverty was a common experience. Kids – where they lived and what they did. The excitement of meeting up with old friends at a 50th class reunion. We discovered that two of the guys were former gymnasts – surely an unusual occurrence in such a small gathering. Several of us were self-employed and we found similar health insurance concerns with those who have already retired or who have embarked on a second career. And of course we re-lived our recent Halloween triumphs.
As I listened, I was intrigued by the experience and good will of the gathering. Here were folks I could learn from and enjoy – and their take on the world was ever so slightly different than mine because they experienced the world a few years before I.
The very next night, I shared an experience with a far younger crowd. Ray’s son invited us to join him and a friend at a concert by one of his favorite musical groups, The Decemberists. Because we’ve taken him up on similar invitations before, we now know to expect talent. It’s nearly always talent that we’d never discover on our own – but that has the power to fascinate the youth inside our older bodies.
Last night’s concert was enormous fun. The music was tuneful and engaging. And the student crowd in Cornell’s barn of a field house were terrific fun to watch – the array of outfits, the consistent cell phone glow, the happy un-self-conscious dancing to jaunty melodies. It was clear that this crowd’s take on the world was also different than mine. We occupy different corners of that world – most of the time.
The experiences on Saturday and Sunday evenings couldn’t have been more different. One was refined, sophisticated, with the authenticity of folks who have learned to feel completely at home in their own skin. The other vibrated with youthful, contagious energy that invited even a couple old fogies to jump on board. One was rich in conversation, the other rich in creativity.
All in all, it’s hard to imagine a more enjoyable – or educational – weekend. Here’s hoping you had similar enlightening and re-creating experiences on your weekend – or that you have them planned for the week ahead!
Sally
On Saturday, we were invited to share an evening and a meal with three other couples we know mostly through sailing and Halloween. Most of these folks have a few years on us – though you wouldn’t really know it. All are active sailors, most also downhill ski, and all are game to act like a kid on Halloween.
Conversation topics ranged. Upcoming ski trips, past and anticipated travel. Stories about our various canine friends. Early college days when poverty was a common experience. Kids – where they lived and what they did. The excitement of meeting up with old friends at a 50th class reunion. We discovered that two of the guys were former gymnasts – surely an unusual occurrence in such a small gathering. Several of us were self-employed and we found similar health insurance concerns with those who have already retired or who have embarked on a second career. And of course we re-lived our recent Halloween triumphs.
As I listened, I was intrigued by the experience and good will of the gathering. Here were folks I could learn from and enjoy – and their take on the world was ever so slightly different than mine because they experienced the world a few years before I.
The very next night, I shared an experience with a far younger crowd. Ray’s son invited us to join him and a friend at a concert by one of his favorite musical groups, The Decemberists. Because we’ve taken him up on similar invitations before, we now know to expect talent. It’s nearly always talent that we’d never discover on our own – but that has the power to fascinate the youth inside our older bodies.
Last night’s concert was enormous fun. The music was tuneful and engaging. And the student crowd in Cornell’s barn of a field house were terrific fun to watch – the array of outfits, the consistent cell phone glow, the happy un-self-conscious dancing to jaunty melodies. It was clear that this crowd’s take on the world was also different than mine. We occupy different corners of that world – most of the time.
The experiences on Saturday and Sunday evenings couldn’t have been more different. One was refined, sophisticated, with the authenticity of folks who have learned to feel completely at home in their own skin. The other vibrated with youthful, contagious energy that invited even a couple old fogies to jump on board. One was rich in conversation, the other rich in creativity.
All in all, it’s hard to imagine a more enjoyable – or educational – weekend. Here’s hoping you had similar enlightening and re-creating experiences on your weekend – or that you have them planned for the week ahead!
Sally
Monday, October 27, 2008
Monday Moment - Oh to be a kid again!
Last Saturday night we attended a Halloween party. It was slated as a grown-up party, but it was astonishing to see just how many kids actually showed up! Oh the median age was undoubtedly well over 50, but these were kids all the same!
And it was very clear that these apparent adults had stepped out of their day-to-day lives well beyond the bounds of this one Saturday night. Plans had been laid, shopping had occurred, sewing machines had been dusted off, and I’m willing to bet a lot of kid-like giggles erupted just thinking about the event. Costumes like we saw don’t just arrive at one’s door. They have to be constructed!
Oh there were a few kids at this party who showed up with their ‘cool cards’ still firmly entrenched. Token Jack-o-lantern pins, Halloween socks, an orange scarf. These were the only concessions to childhood that some folks brought to the party – and probably they felt like chaperones. That’s what I felt like at last year’s gathering before I saw the full potential of acting like a kid again.
Some kids kept it simple – the women in flapper dresses who looked like little girls playing dress-up, their gangster dates, the gentleman in a tux with a Phantom of the Opera mask, the tourists in mis-matched shorts and Hawaiian shirts.
Some relied on topical humor – Mr. Wall Street with his golden parachute and Joe the Plumber. Gilligan, the Captain, the millionaires, the movie star, the Professor and MaryAnn. The pregnant hillbilly bride.
And who were we? Our costume emerged from a gathering of near strangers two months before. There were eight of us. What could we go as together? Let’s be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs! What emerged was the kind of teamwork seen when kids play sandlot ball – all via email. Someone made hats – with our Dwarf names. Someone made belts. Someone else fashioned small – and safe – picks and shovels. We all managed to come up with beards, extra-extra large t-shirts and leggings. And then there was Snow. His Dwarf partner (Sneezy) fashioned an evocative ensemble in all the right colors – with just the right balance between sweetness and absurdity.
If you’re thinking that this whole experience was frivolous and childish, you’re only half right. It was absolutely frivolous. And it was child-like. Not childish. We played, danced, and paraded like children - making friends, not caring about appearances or status, having fun for the pure and simple sake of fun! There was a contest, in which all the fore-mentioned kids won prizes, but surely the real prize was the pure and simple fun.
Did we solve any world – or even personal problems? Nope. But did we face the world in the coming days with more verve, more excitement, more joy? Were we refreshed, rejuvenated, more hopeful? Were we more creative, energized, more prepared to see the world from a broader perspective? Oh I do believe we were.
We’ve long known that children learn through play. I wonder why we don’t more easily see that the same is true for adults. Hallelujah for Halloween which gave me and my friends the chance to be a kid again and reap the beneficence of play!
May you also en-joy a dose of playfulness and child-like fun in the coming week!
Sally
And it was very clear that these apparent adults had stepped out of their day-to-day lives well beyond the bounds of this one Saturday night. Plans had been laid, shopping had occurred, sewing machines had been dusted off, and I’m willing to bet a lot of kid-like giggles erupted just thinking about the event. Costumes like we saw don’t just arrive at one’s door. They have to be constructed!
Oh there were a few kids at this party who showed up with their ‘cool cards’ still firmly entrenched. Token Jack-o-lantern pins, Halloween socks, an orange scarf. These were the only concessions to childhood that some folks brought to the party – and probably they felt like chaperones. That’s what I felt like at last year’s gathering before I saw the full potential of acting like a kid again.
Some kids kept it simple – the women in flapper dresses who looked like little girls playing dress-up, their gangster dates, the gentleman in a tux with a Phantom of the Opera mask, the tourists in mis-matched shorts and Hawaiian shirts.
Some relied on topical humor – Mr. Wall Street with his golden parachute and Joe the Plumber. Gilligan, the Captain, the millionaires, the movie star, the Professor and MaryAnn. The pregnant hillbilly bride.
And who were we? Our costume emerged from a gathering of near strangers two months before. There were eight of us. What could we go as together? Let’s be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs! What emerged was the kind of teamwork seen when kids play sandlot ball – all via email. Someone made hats – with our Dwarf names. Someone made belts. Someone else fashioned small – and safe – picks and shovels. We all managed to come up with beards, extra-extra large t-shirts and leggings. And then there was Snow. His Dwarf partner (Sneezy) fashioned an evocative ensemble in all the right colors – with just the right balance between sweetness and absurdity.
If you’re thinking that this whole experience was frivolous and childish, you’re only half right. It was absolutely frivolous. And it was child-like. Not childish. We played, danced, and paraded like children - making friends, not caring about appearances or status, having fun for the pure and simple sake of fun! There was a contest, in which all the fore-mentioned kids won prizes, but surely the real prize was the pure and simple fun.
Did we solve any world – or even personal problems? Nope. But did we face the world in the coming days with more verve, more excitement, more joy? Were we refreshed, rejuvenated, more hopeful? Were we more creative, energized, more prepared to see the world from a broader perspective? Oh I do believe we were.
We’ve long known that children learn through play. I wonder why we don’t more easily see that the same is true for adults. Hallelujah for Halloween which gave me and my friends the chance to be a kid again and reap the beneficence of play!
May you also en-joy a dose of playfulness and child-like fun in the coming week!
Sally
Monday, October 20, 2008
Monday Moment - Seeking 'Flow'
Last week I taught the concept of ‘Flow’ to my child-care students, and it’s been on my mind ever since. The concept of Flow was developed by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi as part of his study of happiness, creativity, fun, and other lovely emotions that it must have been fabulous to study.
Essentially, Mihaly (I need to be on a first-name basis with this man for a very practical reason. I can’t pronounce his last name!) says that flow is that nirvana feeling we sometimes get when our skills match up with a challenge that we need to face. We get lost in whatever we’re doing, forget to eat, forget to sleep, and become totally absorbed in the task at hand. Flow is a kind of mindfulness, a full involvement – body, mind, spirit – with the challenge.
We talk about flow in my classes so my students will develop activities that are not too difficult for kids so the kids will feel frustrated and want to quit nor too easy so kids will become bored and want to create their own – often troublesome – fun. Challenges need to match skills for children to be engaged in the challenge and have the chance to achieve flow – and generally behave in ways that adults find appealing. We talk about matching challenge and ability also in terms of safety. Challenges that are too risky for a child’s skills are dangerous. Challenges that are too easy may entice kids to take unsafe risks for the sake of relieving their boredom. The challenge for after-school staff of course, is that each child has a different set of abilities and activities need to be constructed so each child can find that ‘just-right’ balance of ability and challenge.
So I’ve been thinking about flow in my own life. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about how I can get more of it! Because I like those moments of flow – those times when I am 100% engaged, when doing what I’m doing seems like the very most important thing I could possibly be doing.
As I’ve been thinking of those fully-alive moments of flow I’ve experienced, I realize that the particular balance of challenge and ability that works best for me is when I almost have the skills I need to face a challenge that I want and choose to face.
I suspect that Mihaly and I are on the same page with this notion since he also talks about continually upping the challenge and pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones. As my friend and mentor Sid Simon says, “up the risk!’ The experience of growing – and being able to see that growth right in front of my eyes – that’s surely part of any peak experience.
Mihaly also talks about clarity – being clear about what it is you want to do. I remember a work situation where an abundance of challenges awaited me, but they were no longer challenges that excited my passion and energy. I wanted new, different, other challenges instead.
Without question, the quest for flow is behind my commitment to goal-setting. When I set a goal, I choose the challenge and I stretch my abilities. I never mind too much if I don’t achieve 100% of my goal – when I know that I stretched and came closer than I would have without the goal. My current abilities – or drive – aren’t quite a match for the ambitious goals that I set. And yet, I grow, I am conscious of growing, and in the process, I often feel a sense of flow.
I’m reminded of a story that Jack Canfield tells about the year he set a goal to earn $100,000 when he’d previously ever earned only $18,000. He didn’t make his goal that year. But he wasn’t at all unhappy with the $96,000 he did earn. And I’ll bet he felt some flow as he sought to meet his goal!
What challenges bring out the flow in you? How can you up the risk to get more flow in your life – this very week?
Sally
Essentially, Mihaly (I need to be on a first-name basis with this man for a very practical reason. I can’t pronounce his last name!) says that flow is that nirvana feeling we sometimes get when our skills match up with a challenge that we need to face. We get lost in whatever we’re doing, forget to eat, forget to sleep, and become totally absorbed in the task at hand. Flow is a kind of mindfulness, a full involvement – body, mind, spirit – with the challenge.
We talk about flow in my classes so my students will develop activities that are not too difficult for kids so the kids will feel frustrated and want to quit nor too easy so kids will become bored and want to create their own – often troublesome – fun. Challenges need to match skills for children to be engaged in the challenge and have the chance to achieve flow – and generally behave in ways that adults find appealing. We talk about matching challenge and ability also in terms of safety. Challenges that are too risky for a child’s skills are dangerous. Challenges that are too easy may entice kids to take unsafe risks for the sake of relieving their boredom. The challenge for after-school staff of course, is that each child has a different set of abilities and activities need to be constructed so each child can find that ‘just-right’ balance of ability and challenge.
So I’ve been thinking about flow in my own life. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about how I can get more of it! Because I like those moments of flow – those times when I am 100% engaged, when doing what I’m doing seems like the very most important thing I could possibly be doing.
As I’ve been thinking of those fully-alive moments of flow I’ve experienced, I realize that the particular balance of challenge and ability that works best for me is when I almost have the skills I need to face a challenge that I want and choose to face.
I suspect that Mihaly and I are on the same page with this notion since he also talks about continually upping the challenge and pushing the boundaries of our comfort zones. As my friend and mentor Sid Simon says, “up the risk!’ The experience of growing – and being able to see that growth right in front of my eyes – that’s surely part of any peak experience.
Mihaly also talks about clarity – being clear about what it is you want to do. I remember a work situation where an abundance of challenges awaited me, but they were no longer challenges that excited my passion and energy. I wanted new, different, other challenges instead.
Without question, the quest for flow is behind my commitment to goal-setting. When I set a goal, I choose the challenge and I stretch my abilities. I never mind too much if I don’t achieve 100% of my goal – when I know that I stretched and came closer than I would have without the goal. My current abilities – or drive – aren’t quite a match for the ambitious goals that I set. And yet, I grow, I am conscious of growing, and in the process, I often feel a sense of flow.
I’m reminded of a story that Jack Canfield tells about the year he set a goal to earn $100,000 when he’d previously ever earned only $18,000. He didn’t make his goal that year. But he wasn’t at all unhappy with the $96,000 he did earn. And I’ll bet he felt some flow as he sought to meet his goal!
What challenges bring out the flow in you? How can you up the risk to get more flow in your life – this very week?
Sally
Monday, October 13, 2008
Monday Moment - To Fight No More!
Like many – perhaps even most Americans in this historic year – I’ve been glued to election news. I’m fascinated by the choices, the process, and the people. I respect and admire the intelligence and good will I see in candidates for national, state, and local office – even when I disagree with some of their statements.
Naturally I have some skepticism about promises made in the heat of a campaign. But there’s one promise that I hear from candidates at all levels that I believe and fear that they will keep. That promise? They will ‘fight’ – against yada yada, to yada yada, for me.
I do not want any candidate to fight for me. I want them to work, strive, persuade, question, listen, even argue, challenge and confront injustice. I do not want them to fight.
Do any of us send people to our capital cities to fight? I don’t think we do. Aren’t our three branches of government meant to check and balance each other – not to fight? And yet, haven’t we seen way too much fighting, belligerence, bickering, and feuds among the people we elect?
I know I’m being a little simplistic here. But our language is important. How we say something matters. Do we want our children – who are already exposed to way too much violence – learning that to fight is a lofty goal? Do we want the rest of the world – where I’d like Americans to be known as a peace-loving people – hearing our politicians promising to fight? Do we want those politicians to deliver on that promise? I don’t think so!
I’m not so naïve that I believe none of us should ever fight. When our lives are threatened, we have the right to fight. We should fight. In those dire circumstances when our national security is truly threatened, we have a right to fight. And we should fight. But fighting should be reserved for those dire circumstances and not used in every other sentence as candidates attempt to convince us that they are the best people for the job.
What do I want? I want all candidates to take a vow not to use the word ‘fight’ in their campaigns. I want them to be models for living peaceful and productive lives – lives that don’t include fighting and especially not with other Americans. I want candidates to be more thoughtful about the subliminal messages they send when they say they will ‘fight’ for us. I want them to use a thesaurus!
I don’t have a lot of hope that I’ll get what I want – in this or future campaigns. I doubt my capacity to influence a trend that seems to encompass every candidate and all their campaign managers. But in an effort to expand my sphere of influence, I will personally pledge to – as Gandhi said, “To be the change I want to see in the world.”
I intend to excise the word ‘fight’ from my personal lexicon. From now on, when that man I love and I see things differently, I will strive to see it as an opportunity to listen, persuade, and question rather than a fight. I will attempt to describe such events – even in my own head – as disagreements rather than fights. And I will attempt to similarly re-think encounters with anyone else with whom I might have a disagreement.
I don’t expect my goal to be easy. I’m as susceptible to habits of thinking as anyone else and the word ‘fight’ is deeply entrenched in my brain. But I do believe that my own personal effort – and perhaps yours as well if you, too, were willing to learn other ways to express whatever you’ve previously thought of as a fight – could do much to influence the peace of our planet. One thing I promise you. I will not ‘fight’ to achieve this new goal of mine!
May you attempt, strive, work for, earn, and achieve your highest goals this week! (And not ‘fight!’)
Sally
Naturally I have some skepticism about promises made in the heat of a campaign. But there’s one promise that I hear from candidates at all levels that I believe and fear that they will keep. That promise? They will ‘fight’ – against yada yada, to yada yada, for me.
I do not want any candidate to fight for me. I want them to work, strive, persuade, question, listen, even argue, challenge and confront injustice. I do not want them to fight.
Do any of us send people to our capital cities to fight? I don’t think we do. Aren’t our three branches of government meant to check and balance each other – not to fight? And yet, haven’t we seen way too much fighting, belligerence, bickering, and feuds among the people we elect?
I know I’m being a little simplistic here. But our language is important. How we say something matters. Do we want our children – who are already exposed to way too much violence – learning that to fight is a lofty goal? Do we want the rest of the world – where I’d like Americans to be known as a peace-loving people – hearing our politicians promising to fight? Do we want those politicians to deliver on that promise? I don’t think so!
I’m not so naïve that I believe none of us should ever fight. When our lives are threatened, we have the right to fight. We should fight. In those dire circumstances when our national security is truly threatened, we have a right to fight. And we should fight. But fighting should be reserved for those dire circumstances and not used in every other sentence as candidates attempt to convince us that they are the best people for the job.
What do I want? I want all candidates to take a vow not to use the word ‘fight’ in their campaigns. I want them to be models for living peaceful and productive lives – lives that don’t include fighting and especially not with other Americans. I want candidates to be more thoughtful about the subliminal messages they send when they say they will ‘fight’ for us. I want them to use a thesaurus!
I don’t have a lot of hope that I’ll get what I want – in this or future campaigns. I doubt my capacity to influence a trend that seems to encompass every candidate and all their campaign managers. But in an effort to expand my sphere of influence, I will personally pledge to – as Gandhi said, “To be the change I want to see in the world.”
I intend to excise the word ‘fight’ from my personal lexicon. From now on, when that man I love and I see things differently, I will strive to see it as an opportunity to listen, persuade, and question rather than a fight. I will attempt to describe such events – even in my own head – as disagreements rather than fights. And I will attempt to similarly re-think encounters with anyone else with whom I might have a disagreement.
I don’t expect my goal to be easy. I’m as susceptible to habits of thinking as anyone else and the word ‘fight’ is deeply entrenched in my brain. But I do believe that my own personal effort – and perhaps yours as well if you, too, were willing to learn other ways to express whatever you’ve previously thought of as a fight – could do much to influence the peace of our planet. One thing I promise you. I will not ‘fight’ to achieve this new goal of mine!
May you attempt, strive, work for, earn, and achieve your highest goals this week! (And not ‘fight!’)
Sally
Monday, October 6, 2008
Monday Moment for Health - The Last 85 Days
If my math is correct, today should mark 85 days till the end of 2008. Last week I committed to publishing my top goal to accomplish before the end of the year. Boy oh boy, there’s nothing like making a goal public to increase one’s commitment to achieving it. Suddenly I’m accountable to you as well as to myself. Yikes!
Believe me when I say that I gave careful consideration to which of my goals would get such public acknowledgement! I reviewed the roles I play and the 5-10 goals I set in each role at the beginning of 2008.
Some goals I was pleased to check off my list. Done! Hooray! My long kayak trip! My trip to Florida! My bathroom floor! Promoting and filling my child care classes!
On some goals I’ve made good progress and will likely complete by the end of the year. I’m over 80% on my way to swimming 100 miles. I maintain my 300 minutes a week exercise record. Ray and I go out on dates at least twice a month. I’ve been pretty diligent about writing something once a month for my writers group.
Some goals just haven’t proved realistic. Getting teachers in our community to contribute stories for a book about our Character Education Initiative just hasn’t fired anyone’s passion but my own – and that not enough to do alone. Some goals were great ideas when I set them, but I haven’t been able to maintain my initial excitement for them – planting 20 new trees, buying a new – and hot – car, a variety of writing projects.
But some goals do indeed represent an aim that I want or need to achieve, but just haven’t yet received the attention they deserve. I’ve decided to focus my efforts on two of those goals in the 85 days I have left before 2008 will be a memory.
First, I will resume my quest to drop weight. Oh I know. We’re heading into high-calorie time, and that will make it harder. But I did very well in the early part of the year, dropping about 10 pounds, and then I lost momentum. I’m going to aim at a modest loss of 5 or more pounds in the next 85 days. I can do this. I know how. And now I’m accountable to you as well as to myself.
Second, I am going to finish re-writing and updating my book, Find the Love of Your Life! I’ve sold nearly 500 copies since it was published in 2000, and it’s time to put out the second edition. I’ve found though, that a straight re-printing is not what I want to do. I’ve changed and grown since I wrote the first edition, the world of meeting people has changed, and I know I can help folks successfully navigate the internet process of meeting a prospective partner. After all, I’ve done it – my method of finding love has worked – twice! I’m over halfway through the re-write process, and I commit to have this second edition ready for publication by the end of December, 2008.
There – two goals that I can and will achieve. Knowing that you know what I’m aiming at will help me stay on target. As will focus. I know that if I attempt to do fifteen things, I won’t do those things as well as if I were to focus on just one or two. William James says that to make a change – which is what meeting a goal certainly is – you must 1) Start immediately, 2) Do it flamboyantly (as in sending a blog to the world) and 3) Make no exceptions.
So tonight while Antique Road Shows is on television, I’ll be listing everything I ate today and working on Chapter 7. What will you be doing tonight – and for the next 85 days?
Sally
Believe me when I say that I gave careful consideration to which of my goals would get such public acknowledgement! I reviewed the roles I play and the 5-10 goals I set in each role at the beginning of 2008.
Some goals I was pleased to check off my list. Done! Hooray! My long kayak trip! My trip to Florida! My bathroom floor! Promoting and filling my child care classes!
On some goals I’ve made good progress and will likely complete by the end of the year. I’m over 80% on my way to swimming 100 miles. I maintain my 300 minutes a week exercise record. Ray and I go out on dates at least twice a month. I’ve been pretty diligent about writing something once a month for my writers group.
Some goals just haven’t proved realistic. Getting teachers in our community to contribute stories for a book about our Character Education Initiative just hasn’t fired anyone’s passion but my own – and that not enough to do alone. Some goals were great ideas when I set them, but I haven’t been able to maintain my initial excitement for them – planting 20 new trees, buying a new – and hot – car, a variety of writing projects.
But some goals do indeed represent an aim that I want or need to achieve, but just haven’t yet received the attention they deserve. I’ve decided to focus my efforts on two of those goals in the 85 days I have left before 2008 will be a memory.
First, I will resume my quest to drop weight. Oh I know. We’re heading into high-calorie time, and that will make it harder. But I did very well in the early part of the year, dropping about 10 pounds, and then I lost momentum. I’m going to aim at a modest loss of 5 or more pounds in the next 85 days. I can do this. I know how. And now I’m accountable to you as well as to myself.
Second, I am going to finish re-writing and updating my book, Find the Love of Your Life! I’ve sold nearly 500 copies since it was published in 2000, and it’s time to put out the second edition. I’ve found though, that a straight re-printing is not what I want to do. I’ve changed and grown since I wrote the first edition, the world of meeting people has changed, and I know I can help folks successfully navigate the internet process of meeting a prospective partner. After all, I’ve done it – my method of finding love has worked – twice! I’m over halfway through the re-write process, and I commit to have this second edition ready for publication by the end of December, 2008.
There – two goals that I can and will achieve. Knowing that you know what I’m aiming at will help me stay on target. As will focus. I know that if I attempt to do fifteen things, I won’t do those things as well as if I were to focus on just one or two. William James says that to make a change – which is what meeting a goal certainly is – you must 1) Start immediately, 2) Do it flamboyantly (as in sending a blog to the world) and 3) Make no exceptions.
So tonight while Antique Road Shows is on television, I’ll be listing everything I ate today and working on Chapter 7. What will you be doing tonight – and for the next 85 days?
Sally
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday Moment - 93 Days and Counting
Does it seem like the first of a month sneaks up on you? It’s not like the end of a month is exactly an unexpected revelation. It just somehow always catches me by surprise. And there is something about the first of October that especially astounds me every single year.
Probably all this surprise has a little to do with my annual denial that summer is over. I drag my feet into fall – and those would be my cold feet, the very ones that I resist covering with socks until it just can’t be helped. I can never make myself put all those summer clothes away – and I certainly will not drag out a single turtleneck or anything made of wool until far later in the season. If you’ve ever heard me speak about embracing change, I apologize for this integrity breach. I find it ever so difficult to embrace the fall.
But march forth we must – and there’s no use whining about it. Or at least there’s no use whining any more than I already have. This would be me – commencing to stop whining. And perhaps to start winning instead.
Last week, on September 22 (a late happy birthday wish to my sister) it came to my notice that there were only 100 days left in 2008. And now there are only 93. This notice came to me courtesy of Gary Ryan Blair who created the 100 Day Finish Strong Challenge. You can find out more at http://www.goalguru.com/recommends/100DayChallenge. And I can tell you that I wish I’d thought of the idea!
The gist is that in the next 100 days – or 93 as the case may be – we can focus our energies and accomplish amazing things. Great idea, huh? A wish with a deadline.
As I look back on my 2008 goals, though, I can see that in some cases, the last 100 days of the year aren’t nearly as important as the first 100. For example, I’m on track now with my goal to swim 100 miles in 2008. But that wouldn’t be the case if I hadn’t broken my goal down so that I’d reach 25 miles by the end of March, 60 miles by the end of June, and 80 miles by the end of September. If I were just starting now, I suppose I could swim a mile a day every day, but I know myself and my schedule too well to know that just wouldn’t happen.
Still I love the idea of challenging myself in the last 93 days of the year, and I’m combing through the goals I set some 270 days ago to see which ones haven’t yet had the attention they need and which still fire enough passion so I’m willing to invest my energy on them. I’ve learned that I do better when I ponder and prepare before I push right in so that’s what I’m going to do this week. Next week – I’ll let you know what goal I’ll be focusing on for the last 86 days of the year!
What can you do for yourself in 93 days?
Probably all this surprise has a little to do with my annual denial that summer is over. I drag my feet into fall – and those would be my cold feet, the very ones that I resist covering with socks until it just can’t be helped. I can never make myself put all those summer clothes away – and I certainly will not drag out a single turtleneck or anything made of wool until far later in the season. If you’ve ever heard me speak about embracing change, I apologize for this integrity breach. I find it ever so difficult to embrace the fall.
But march forth we must – and there’s no use whining about it. Or at least there’s no use whining any more than I already have. This would be me – commencing to stop whining. And perhaps to start winning instead.
Last week, on September 22 (a late happy birthday wish to my sister) it came to my notice that there were only 100 days left in 2008. And now there are only 93. This notice came to me courtesy of Gary Ryan Blair who created the 100 Day Finish Strong Challenge. You can find out more at http://www.goalguru.com/recommends/100DayChallenge. And I can tell you that I wish I’d thought of the idea!
The gist is that in the next 100 days – or 93 as the case may be – we can focus our energies and accomplish amazing things. Great idea, huh? A wish with a deadline.
As I look back on my 2008 goals, though, I can see that in some cases, the last 100 days of the year aren’t nearly as important as the first 100. For example, I’m on track now with my goal to swim 100 miles in 2008. But that wouldn’t be the case if I hadn’t broken my goal down so that I’d reach 25 miles by the end of March, 60 miles by the end of June, and 80 miles by the end of September. If I were just starting now, I suppose I could swim a mile a day every day, but I know myself and my schedule too well to know that just wouldn’t happen.
Still I love the idea of challenging myself in the last 93 days of the year, and I’m combing through the goals I set some 270 days ago to see which ones haven’t yet had the attention they need and which still fire enough passion so I’m willing to invest my energy on them. I’ve learned that I do better when I ponder and prepare before I push right in so that’s what I’m going to do this week. Next week – I’ll let you know what goal I’ll be focusing on for the last 86 days of the year!
What can you do for yourself in 93 days?
Monday, September 22, 2008
Monday Moment - Just 5 hours from home
It’s been a whirlwind for me in the last couple weeks – the level of busy that other people seem to manage with their eyes closed but that make me feel just a little unprepared for what’s coming next. There’s been a wedding, the final efforts on a consulting project, child care classes beginning, a theater experience, and a visit from my sister and her husband all the way from Kansas. Whew!
Well I make it all seem like it happened in the space of a week and it’s really been spaced out over about three weeks. But still. And it’s all been good. I’ll probably share some insights I’ve had from these various experiences – after I reflect on them a while for which I haven’t yet made space in my head.
So I’ll start with the wedding. Jeremy and I met a dozen years ago or so through work with our good friends at Executive Edge (www.executiveedgeinc.com – you’ll be impressed.) He was 18 and I was more than twice his age. We saw each other just one week a year for about ten years, but the nature of our work and the nature of Jeremy meant that we always looked forward to the next time we’d see each other. And along the way, another friend – closer to my age than his – and I did a fair amount of relationship counseling with this lovely young man. So I was thrilled to hear that he was getting married – and honored to be included on his guest list. No question. Had to go!
In order to attend, Ray and I drove 3 hours in New York, 1 hour in Pennsylvania, and 1 hour in Ohio – and had not just a lovely time at Jeremy and Jaime’s wedding, but also got to experience that natural learning and broadening stuff that comes with spending a little time even a short way from home. Ah travel!
First the wedding. Lovely. A bride who shimmered with excitement. A groom who stood tall and firm. Exuberant love of family. Great food prepared by the men and women of Jeremy’s home church. Dance floor crammed with friends and family. A chance to participate in creating a sand painting sculpture as a memento for the bride and groom. Good friends (those same Executive Edge folks) at our table. Meeting – and approving of – another young friend’s boyfriend. Oh. And by special request of the bride and groom – Jello shots made by friends and family. Overall, fun, endearing, a delightful experience that I feel privileged to attend.
And then more time with friends learning about their adventures – a ten-year-old’s view of exercising with Wii-Fit, planning trips to the Northwest, sailing lessons, learning to jump on Joe the horse. And lots more.
Meanwhile, all this took place in a part of the country populated by some 12,000 Amish people. So there was interest and curiosity about a culture that includes horses, buggies, bonnets, and quilts. We only dipped a toe into this country, but still our minds felt expanded.
On our way home, a billboard that announced PerchFest caught our eyes – and minutes later we were on our way toward Fairport Harbor, Ohio, where a fishing contest has spawned a terrific Perch and Walleye dinner and festival. There was a talent show – PerchFest Idol we assumed – a very interesting small maritime museum, and a lighthouse with 69 open steps spiraling toward the top. I clung to the rail, hand over hand, all the way to the top where the view of Lake Erie was worth it – before I realized that it was a lot scarier coming back down!
It was a grand trip. Just two nights and five hours away from home – but it was a whole world away. And that whole world entered into our psyches to become part of who we are. That’s the thing I find most interesting about going somewhere new. It’s what we learn – sometimes when we don’t even realize it – that makes us more open, more understanding, more compassionate, more curious about our fellow beings of all species. I’m thinking I should encourage more young people I know to marry – for their own happiness sure, but also so I have the chance for more of these kinds of broadening experiences that I savor so much!
Here’s wishing you the particular brand of broadening experience you savor in the week ahead!
Sally
Well I make it all seem like it happened in the space of a week and it’s really been spaced out over about three weeks. But still. And it’s all been good. I’ll probably share some insights I’ve had from these various experiences – after I reflect on them a while for which I haven’t yet made space in my head.
So I’ll start with the wedding. Jeremy and I met a dozen years ago or so through work with our good friends at Executive Edge (www.executiveedgeinc.com – you’ll be impressed.) He was 18 and I was more than twice his age. We saw each other just one week a year for about ten years, but the nature of our work and the nature of Jeremy meant that we always looked forward to the next time we’d see each other. And along the way, another friend – closer to my age than his – and I did a fair amount of relationship counseling with this lovely young man. So I was thrilled to hear that he was getting married – and honored to be included on his guest list. No question. Had to go!
In order to attend, Ray and I drove 3 hours in New York, 1 hour in Pennsylvania, and 1 hour in Ohio – and had not just a lovely time at Jeremy and Jaime’s wedding, but also got to experience that natural learning and broadening stuff that comes with spending a little time even a short way from home. Ah travel!
First the wedding. Lovely. A bride who shimmered with excitement. A groom who stood tall and firm. Exuberant love of family. Great food prepared by the men and women of Jeremy’s home church. Dance floor crammed with friends and family. A chance to participate in creating a sand painting sculpture as a memento for the bride and groom. Good friends (those same Executive Edge folks) at our table. Meeting – and approving of – another young friend’s boyfriend. Oh. And by special request of the bride and groom – Jello shots made by friends and family. Overall, fun, endearing, a delightful experience that I feel privileged to attend.
And then more time with friends learning about their adventures – a ten-year-old’s view of exercising with Wii-Fit, planning trips to the Northwest, sailing lessons, learning to jump on Joe the horse. And lots more.
Meanwhile, all this took place in a part of the country populated by some 12,000 Amish people. So there was interest and curiosity about a culture that includes horses, buggies, bonnets, and quilts. We only dipped a toe into this country, but still our minds felt expanded.
On our way home, a billboard that announced PerchFest caught our eyes – and minutes later we were on our way toward Fairport Harbor, Ohio, where a fishing contest has spawned a terrific Perch and Walleye dinner and festival. There was a talent show – PerchFest Idol we assumed – a very interesting small maritime museum, and a lighthouse with 69 open steps spiraling toward the top. I clung to the rail, hand over hand, all the way to the top where the view of Lake Erie was worth it – before I realized that it was a lot scarier coming back down!
It was a grand trip. Just two nights and five hours away from home – but it was a whole world away. And that whole world entered into our psyches to become part of who we are. That’s the thing I find most interesting about going somewhere new. It’s what we learn – sometimes when we don’t even realize it – that makes us more open, more understanding, more compassionate, more curious about our fellow beings of all species. I’m thinking I should encourage more young people I know to marry – for their own happiness sure, but also so I have the chance for more of these kinds of broadening experiences that I savor so much!
Here’s wishing you the particular brand of broadening experience you savor in the week ahead!
Sally
Monday, September 8, 2008
Monday Moment - Back at the Paddle Again
As many of you know, I set a big goal in the summer of 2007 to paddle my pretty little kayak the length of Canandaigua Lake, about 15 miles – and did on July 23, 2007. It’s been in my mind to make that an annual jaunt, so a 2008 paddle has also been in the works – in my mind and in my plans, but not exactly as laser focused as was my 2007 goal.
With one such long paddle under my belt, I was confident I could do it again – maybe a little too confident. I didn’t train quite so much as I did last year, finding excuses in the thunderous weather patterns of July and the heat and winds of August. I planned to do my paddle later in the summer – so I didn’t feel the urgency to get out there quite so early or so often. And doing something the second time has never carried the thrill level of a first for me. I’m a person who loves new experiences, who gets excited at the start of a project, but all too often bogs down in the middle.
However, even with all my less-than-focused preparation for my lake-length paddle, I still did it. Early last Thursday morning, Ray drove me and my boat to the south end of Canandaigua Lake so I could try the south-to-north experience to mirror last year’s north-to-south paddle.
I was aware as we drove and after I launched that this year’s paddle felt more that I was keeping a promise to myself than I was doing it for pure enjoyment. I thought, “I’m doing this more to say I did it than because I really want to do it.” I felt a little sore from last minute training the two days before, and the temptation to roll over instead of roll out had been pretty strong that morning.
But even with all that, I found myself in the midst of pure enjoyment after all. I paddled steadily in no great hurry – and in the first hour from the south end, I saw not one other boat on the lake. It was all mine in the quiet of a gentle breeze at my back. Even as I got further north, I saw only a few devoted fisher-folk either anchored or slowly trolling on my lake.
At about the half-way point – which I could detect more easily this year because of last year’s experience – the wind shifted to the north and I was grateful for its cooling effect. About the same time, I realized that my pace was considerably quicker than last year. I’d thought I might shave some time from last year’s five hours because I had stopped so often to take pictures that I didn’t feel so compelled to take this year. But even taking less camera time into account, I was further than I thought I’d be. Huh.
My goal never – last year or this – included a time element. I estimated how long it might take both times – more to plan how much food and water I should take along and to worry whether I might need a bathroom break before I reached my destination. (I didn’t either time despite drinking lots of water along the way. Whew!) The idea was to finish, never to compete against a deadline.
But in 2008, it became clear – especially as I reached areas closer to the north end where I’ve paddled more frequently – that I would certainly beat last year’s time. And maybe by a lot! At around the three hour mark, I estimated that I might actually be able to finish a whole hour ahead of last year’s time – and that became a new goal.
By this time, though, I was hurting a little. I needed to shift my leg position more often, the muscles in my arms complained with the push and pull of every stroke, and my abdominal muscles also strained. It’s always a surprise to me, but even when though kayaking looks like you only use your arms, it actually works your whole upper body – and on that day, I knew it. So my choice became slow down and prolong the hurt, speed up and get it over with quicker, or maintain the steady pace, knowing that that I’d get there and this too, would pass without any lasting damage.
Mostly I maintained my steady pace. But I did keep checking the clock. It soon became clear that I wouldn’t break four hours, but I didn’t miss it by much. My 2008 lake length paddle took four hours and eight minutes. Yea!
Last year I reflected on what I learned in my lake-length paddle and I was curious to see how that compared to my 2008 experience. Let’s compare.
In 2007, I said that setting a goal is an act of power. Oh yeah, I wouldn’t have rolled out last Thursday morning without a goal nagging at me!
In 2007, I said that a deadline helped motivate me to keep to a training schedule. Ah, that’s where my laser focus got a little fuzzier this year.
In 2007, I saw the bragging rights as a big reward for my effort. I still like looks of stupefaction, but I notice that my closest friends and family seemed less impressed – as did I – than they did last year. There is something magic about that first time achievement – which says to me that an effective goal has to stretch beyond our current achievements in order to fully motivate – and fully impress others as well as ourselves.
In 2007, I realized that although getting ready for a big goal is important, it’s also important to get off the dime and just do it – ready or not. I said, “I need to remember that taking on any new challenge won’t feel easy-chair comfortable – and I don’t need it to. I’m tough enough to withstand a little emotional and/or physical discomfort.” In 2008, I proved to myself that, in fact, I am tough enough to keep paddling through a little pain. That’s good to know, but maybe next year, I’ll work a little harder to get ready – and that might break my four hour, eight minute record.
In 2007, I was reminded that many people look toward physical challenges as a way to stretch in emotional, intellectual, social, environmental, and spiritual arenas too. Same goes for 2008. I believe more than ever in tangible efforts that give big intangible rewards.
And in 2007 – and in 2008 – I found that reflecting on what I learned added spice and flavor to the experience. It’s been great to share my bragging rights with you. But I said last year, and I’d like to reiterate that what really excites me is to hear about the challenges you’re taking on. Let me know by replying to my blog at http://healthypeoplelearn.blogspot.com.
And may you have opportunity to share bragging rights of your own for some new achievement this week!
With one such long paddle under my belt, I was confident I could do it again – maybe a little too confident. I didn’t train quite so much as I did last year, finding excuses in the thunderous weather patterns of July and the heat and winds of August. I planned to do my paddle later in the summer – so I didn’t feel the urgency to get out there quite so early or so often. And doing something the second time has never carried the thrill level of a first for me. I’m a person who loves new experiences, who gets excited at the start of a project, but all too often bogs down in the middle.
However, even with all my less-than-focused preparation for my lake-length paddle, I still did it. Early last Thursday morning, Ray drove me and my boat to the south end of Canandaigua Lake so I could try the south-to-north experience to mirror last year’s north-to-south paddle.
I was aware as we drove and after I launched that this year’s paddle felt more that I was keeping a promise to myself than I was doing it for pure enjoyment. I thought, “I’m doing this more to say I did it than because I really want to do it.” I felt a little sore from last minute training the two days before, and the temptation to roll over instead of roll out had been pretty strong that morning.
But even with all that, I found myself in the midst of pure enjoyment after all. I paddled steadily in no great hurry – and in the first hour from the south end, I saw not one other boat on the lake. It was all mine in the quiet of a gentle breeze at my back. Even as I got further north, I saw only a few devoted fisher-folk either anchored or slowly trolling on my lake.
At about the half-way point – which I could detect more easily this year because of last year’s experience – the wind shifted to the north and I was grateful for its cooling effect. About the same time, I realized that my pace was considerably quicker than last year. I’d thought I might shave some time from last year’s five hours because I had stopped so often to take pictures that I didn’t feel so compelled to take this year. But even taking less camera time into account, I was further than I thought I’d be. Huh.
My goal never – last year or this – included a time element. I estimated how long it might take both times – more to plan how much food and water I should take along and to worry whether I might need a bathroom break before I reached my destination. (I didn’t either time despite drinking lots of water along the way. Whew!) The idea was to finish, never to compete against a deadline.
But in 2008, it became clear – especially as I reached areas closer to the north end where I’ve paddled more frequently – that I would certainly beat last year’s time. And maybe by a lot! At around the three hour mark, I estimated that I might actually be able to finish a whole hour ahead of last year’s time – and that became a new goal.
By this time, though, I was hurting a little. I needed to shift my leg position more often, the muscles in my arms complained with the push and pull of every stroke, and my abdominal muscles also strained. It’s always a surprise to me, but even when though kayaking looks like you only use your arms, it actually works your whole upper body – and on that day, I knew it. So my choice became slow down and prolong the hurt, speed up and get it over with quicker, or maintain the steady pace, knowing that that I’d get there and this too, would pass without any lasting damage.
Mostly I maintained my steady pace. But I did keep checking the clock. It soon became clear that I wouldn’t break four hours, but I didn’t miss it by much. My 2008 lake length paddle took four hours and eight minutes. Yea!
Last year I reflected on what I learned in my lake-length paddle and I was curious to see how that compared to my 2008 experience. Let’s compare.
In 2007, I said that setting a goal is an act of power. Oh yeah, I wouldn’t have rolled out last Thursday morning without a goal nagging at me!
In 2007, I said that a deadline helped motivate me to keep to a training schedule. Ah, that’s where my laser focus got a little fuzzier this year.
In 2007, I saw the bragging rights as a big reward for my effort. I still like looks of stupefaction, but I notice that my closest friends and family seemed less impressed – as did I – than they did last year. There is something magic about that first time achievement – which says to me that an effective goal has to stretch beyond our current achievements in order to fully motivate – and fully impress others as well as ourselves.
In 2007, I realized that although getting ready for a big goal is important, it’s also important to get off the dime and just do it – ready or not. I said, “I need to remember that taking on any new challenge won’t feel easy-chair comfortable – and I don’t need it to. I’m tough enough to withstand a little emotional and/or physical discomfort.” In 2008, I proved to myself that, in fact, I am tough enough to keep paddling through a little pain. That’s good to know, but maybe next year, I’ll work a little harder to get ready – and that might break my four hour, eight minute record.
In 2007, I was reminded that many people look toward physical challenges as a way to stretch in emotional, intellectual, social, environmental, and spiritual arenas too. Same goes for 2008. I believe more than ever in tangible efforts that give big intangible rewards.
And in 2007 – and in 2008 – I found that reflecting on what I learned added spice and flavor to the experience. It’s been great to share my bragging rights with you. But I said last year, and I’d like to reiterate that what really excites me is to hear about the challenges you’re taking on. Let me know by replying to my blog at http://healthypeoplelearn.blogspot.com.
And may you have opportunity to share bragging rights of your own for some new achievement this week!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Monday Moment - Rock Band Aspirations
For the past dozen years or so, I’ve traveled to Florida in early August to work with my good friends at Executive Edge on a program that helps Ernst & Young student interns learn about teambuilding in this impressive firm. Working on this program always bends my mind in new and interesting ways – whether it’s the work itself (quite unlike what I do the rest of the year), the vastly interesting folks on the Executive Edge team, or this one time I dip my toes into the corporate culture of an enormous global industry.
Since my older sister, brother-in-law, and two nieces, 3 great-nieces and a great-nephew all live within shouting distance of this program I always plan an extra day or two to hang out with my fam – and this year, they gave my mind – and fingers, and eyeballs – a little bending too!
From about 10PM-2AM on the evening I arrived, our younger generations tutored me on the nuances of playing Rock Band. If you’ve not yet discovered Rock Band or Guitar Hero, then you may not understand just how ineptly I was tutored. I guess you should just trust me on this. Or ask my fam because they’d certainly testify that I am really, really bad at this game! I’m holding out the hope that anyone who plays for the first time would be equally as bad – but I’m not certain that such a hope is justified.
I’ve had a lot of curiosity about Rock Band and Guitar Hero because what I’ve read and heard indicate that they aren’t your typical video games. But I hadn’t had any first-hand experience until I visited a 22-year-old’s apartment and requested a demonstration. I’m just guessing that this young man and his roommate have logged hours and hours on Guitar Hero – and that they both have more natural musical and/or rhythmic ability than I. Their expert level demonstrations helped me get the gist of the process – but mostly left me awed and intimidated.
They insisted I try my hand on the guitar – and heaped on encouraging words as I missed more notes than I hit. “You were on the right notes,” said one. “It was just your timing that was off.” “It helps if you know the song,” said the other, assuming I was hearing Pat Benatar for the first time. It didn’t really help me all that much to know the song.
So when the kids in my fam wanted me to play Rock Band, I had my doubts. They tend to think I’m just a little cooler than I really am – a rumor I hate to dispel. So even though my lack of ability was fully anticipated – by me and by them – I thought, why not? And the evening turned out to be a lesson – in humility certainly, but also in stretching beyond one’s comfort zone.
The only way one grows is to stretch and try new things. Even – and maybe especially – when we know we’ll be unsuccessful at something new. Though I far prefer to be good at what I attempt, playing Rock Band reminded me that it’s okay – and actually lots of fun - to be inept!
Of course, when one is faced with potential ineptitude, it helps to be in supportive company. They put me on bass, helped me learn how to select EASY, and laughed at their own challenges at least as much as they laughed at mine. And we all had fun!
Playing Rock Band with my fam is just one reason why there was no Monday Moment last week. Stretching beyond one’s comfort zone almost guarantees that time flies away. May you have some similar – and fun – stretching moments in the week to come!
Since my older sister, brother-in-law, and two nieces, 3 great-nieces and a great-nephew all live within shouting distance of this program I always plan an extra day or two to hang out with my fam – and this year, they gave my mind – and fingers, and eyeballs – a little bending too!
From about 10PM-2AM on the evening I arrived, our younger generations tutored me on the nuances of playing Rock Band. If you’ve not yet discovered Rock Band or Guitar Hero, then you may not understand just how ineptly I was tutored. I guess you should just trust me on this. Or ask my fam because they’d certainly testify that I am really, really bad at this game! I’m holding out the hope that anyone who plays for the first time would be equally as bad – but I’m not certain that such a hope is justified.
I’ve had a lot of curiosity about Rock Band and Guitar Hero because what I’ve read and heard indicate that they aren’t your typical video games. But I hadn’t had any first-hand experience until I visited a 22-year-old’s apartment and requested a demonstration. I’m just guessing that this young man and his roommate have logged hours and hours on Guitar Hero – and that they both have more natural musical and/or rhythmic ability than I. Their expert level demonstrations helped me get the gist of the process – but mostly left me awed and intimidated.
They insisted I try my hand on the guitar – and heaped on encouraging words as I missed more notes than I hit. “You were on the right notes,” said one. “It was just your timing that was off.” “It helps if you know the song,” said the other, assuming I was hearing Pat Benatar for the first time. It didn’t really help me all that much to know the song.
So when the kids in my fam wanted me to play Rock Band, I had my doubts. They tend to think I’m just a little cooler than I really am – a rumor I hate to dispel. So even though my lack of ability was fully anticipated – by me and by them – I thought, why not? And the evening turned out to be a lesson – in humility certainly, but also in stretching beyond one’s comfort zone.
The only way one grows is to stretch and try new things. Even – and maybe especially – when we know we’ll be unsuccessful at something new. Though I far prefer to be good at what I attempt, playing Rock Band reminded me that it’s okay – and actually lots of fun - to be inept!
Of course, when one is faced with potential ineptitude, it helps to be in supportive company. They put me on bass, helped me learn how to select EASY, and laughed at their own challenges at least as much as they laughed at mine. And we all had fun!
Playing Rock Band with my fam is just one reason why there was no Monday Moment last week. Stretching beyond one’s comfort zone almost guarantees that time flies away. May you have some similar – and fun – stretching moments in the week to come!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Monday Moment - Massaging Your Message
I’m writing to you from a unique position on this bright Monday – sitting on an exercise ball instead of in my usual chair at my usual desk. And there-in lies a bit of a story – and some stuff I learned which I’d like to share with you.
For the past few weeks, I’ve had a nagging issue with my sciatica – a catch in my lower back that is sometimes acutely painful and sometimes merely uncomfortable. I tried to rest – though it wasn’t easy to find a relaxing position. I tried stretching – using some excellent stretches shown by my former massage therapist. I tried swimming, walking, and being active to loosen up this nasty tightness.
All those – and liberal use of ibuprofen – helped some. But the nagging ache continued.
I knew from past experience that massage would help a great deal – but my regular massage therapist has moved out of town and is no longer doing massage. I’ve been going to Karen for several years, and I was out of touch with other massage therapists in my community. What to do, what to do? Mostly my plan was to hope it might just go away on its own – but my hope was not terribly strong.
Then at our monthly writers group meeting, Brenda, whose work doesn’t allow her to join us very often, mentioned that she also is a licensed massage therapist. Hooray! It took a little juggling for the two of us to schedule a session, but you can imagine that my hope level was certainly rising.
And with good reason. In addition to an excellent massage, Brenda gave me several great suggestions for helping my sciatica to heal – and to prevent it from coming back. And that’s what I want to share with you! Even if you’re not troubled by this particular issue – or haven’t been yet – you might find these stretches and ideas useful.
· Sit on an exercise ball. In addition to distributing one’s weight in a way that a chair can’t do, an exercise ball gives your butt a massage as you sit. Brenda tells me that some kids with ADHD can even go off their medications if they are allowed to sit on a ball at school. Interesting! Brenda urged me to find a lower surface for my keyboard and try sitting on a ball while I work. I’m still getting used to that process and I’m not yet sure ball-sitting would work for me every single day. But I can tell you that I haven’t stopped bouncing and swaying all through this message – so apparently I’m massaging while I’m messaging. And so far, it feels pretty good!
· After sitting a long time or while you’re traveling, find a set of stairs. Stand with just one foot on the step and let your other leg and foot just hang – while you hold onto the rail for balance! Sitting shortens a muscle in the groin, Brenda says, and this exercise helps lengthen it again. Let one leg hang for a minute and then turn around and let the other hang.
· Brenda reminded me about using a tennis ball to help relax and stretch one’s feet. Just rolling your foot around on it feels great. A physical therapist once told me that some people with plantar fasciitis find it helpful to freeze a water bottle and roll that under their foot. Apparently not everyone likes that much cold, but it’s been a great thing for me to do.
· Brenda also suggested lying on the floor and putting your feet up on a chair, couch, or whatever you have handy. She says it’s relaxing, and it helps your back realign itself.
As I was leaving – quite relaxed and feeling more limber than I had in days – Brenda gave me a tour of her tiny – and miraculous – garden. I mentioned that my former massage therapist was big into gardening too. Brenda twinkled. “It’s that nurturing thing,” she said.
Which leads me to another tip – from me this time. Find your own nurturing, gardening therapist and make an appointment soon! Not only will it feel great, but just imagine what you might learn!
May you feel nurtured – and bouncy – this week!
Sally
For the past few weeks, I’ve had a nagging issue with my sciatica – a catch in my lower back that is sometimes acutely painful and sometimes merely uncomfortable. I tried to rest – though it wasn’t easy to find a relaxing position. I tried stretching – using some excellent stretches shown by my former massage therapist. I tried swimming, walking, and being active to loosen up this nasty tightness.
All those – and liberal use of ibuprofen – helped some. But the nagging ache continued.
I knew from past experience that massage would help a great deal – but my regular massage therapist has moved out of town and is no longer doing massage. I’ve been going to Karen for several years, and I was out of touch with other massage therapists in my community. What to do, what to do? Mostly my plan was to hope it might just go away on its own – but my hope was not terribly strong.
Then at our monthly writers group meeting, Brenda, whose work doesn’t allow her to join us very often, mentioned that she also is a licensed massage therapist. Hooray! It took a little juggling for the two of us to schedule a session, but you can imagine that my hope level was certainly rising.
And with good reason. In addition to an excellent massage, Brenda gave me several great suggestions for helping my sciatica to heal – and to prevent it from coming back. And that’s what I want to share with you! Even if you’re not troubled by this particular issue – or haven’t been yet – you might find these stretches and ideas useful.
· Sit on an exercise ball. In addition to distributing one’s weight in a way that a chair can’t do, an exercise ball gives your butt a massage as you sit. Brenda tells me that some kids with ADHD can even go off their medications if they are allowed to sit on a ball at school. Interesting! Brenda urged me to find a lower surface for my keyboard and try sitting on a ball while I work. I’m still getting used to that process and I’m not yet sure ball-sitting would work for me every single day. But I can tell you that I haven’t stopped bouncing and swaying all through this message – so apparently I’m massaging while I’m messaging. And so far, it feels pretty good!
· After sitting a long time or while you’re traveling, find a set of stairs. Stand with just one foot on the step and let your other leg and foot just hang – while you hold onto the rail for balance! Sitting shortens a muscle in the groin, Brenda says, and this exercise helps lengthen it again. Let one leg hang for a minute and then turn around and let the other hang.
· Brenda reminded me about using a tennis ball to help relax and stretch one’s feet. Just rolling your foot around on it feels great. A physical therapist once told me that some people with plantar fasciitis find it helpful to freeze a water bottle and roll that under their foot. Apparently not everyone likes that much cold, but it’s been a great thing for me to do.
· Brenda also suggested lying on the floor and putting your feet up on a chair, couch, or whatever you have handy. She says it’s relaxing, and it helps your back realign itself.
As I was leaving – quite relaxed and feeling more limber than I had in days – Brenda gave me a tour of her tiny – and miraculous – garden. I mentioned that my former massage therapist was big into gardening too. Brenda twinkled. “It’s that nurturing thing,” she said.
Which leads me to another tip – from me this time. Find your own nurturing, gardening therapist and make an appointment soon! Not only will it feel great, but just imagine what you might learn!
May you feel nurtured – and bouncy – this week!
Sally
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday Moment - A Film That Made Me Think
I saw a movie over the weekend that I’d like to recommend - Charlie Wilson’s War. It’s a story populated with larger than life characters and a fascinating piece of our country’s history that was completely unknown to me before.
For those of you who haven’t seen the film – and I’m guessing most of you are far more up-to-the-minute than I regarding popular culture – I’ll do a quick recap.
Charlie Wilson was an actual US Congressman from Texas – a playboy who seemed mostly interested in whiskey, women, and fun. He represented a district where constituents were mostly interested in religion and guns and therefore didn’t need or want him to do much for them. So he felt free to make himself agreeable to other members of Congress – and collected a lot of favors owed.
One constituent, the fifth wealthiest woman in Texas and a former Cotton Bowl Queen – both of which got Charlie’s attention – did, however, espouse a cause for which she wanted Charlie’s help. Joanne H wanted the United States to help Afghanistan defeat the Soviet invasion of 1980. Ultra-right wing, Christian fundamentalist, rich enough to not have a care in the world, Joanne had deep passion for the plight of Afghanis dealing with Soviet atrocities in their country. And if she and Charlie could kick some Communist butt in the meantime, so much the better.
Long story short – that’s what happened. Charlie Wilson called in his favors and raised appropriations to Afghanistan from $5 to $250 million, brokered an arms deal between very unlikely players in the middle east – all of which led to the defeat and withdrawal of Soviet troops from Afghanistan and the eventual demise of the USSR as we knew it.
What Charlie Wilson was not able to do was to generate support to help rebuild Afghanistan after the Soviets withdrew. According to the film and dvd interviews, he tried to muster Congressional support to build schools – especially considering that the war had left a huge population of Afghanistan under the age of 14. The film ends with his quote, paraphrased “We did grand and glorious things and the world changed – and we messed up the end game.”
It’s the end game I keep thinking about – how I and most Americans can be so oblivious about an area of the world that has turned out to have such a huge impact on us, how willing our government was to purchase guns, how unwilling it was to prevent the vacuum that allowed the Taliban to take power, how insular governmental and charity giving seems to have been about this issue.
Some months ago I wrote about Greg Mortensen’s attempts to build schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan – all with charitable donations (Three Cups of Tea). Where, I wonder, has Mrs. Rich Texan been in that effort? When the government wouldn’t allocate $1million to build schools, did Charlie imagine asking Mrs. Rich Texan to support that effort?
I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I know where some of my charitable giving will go in future months and years. I wish I’d known – and comprehended - the need years ago. Now that my awareness if not my full understanding has been raised, I can’t in conscience not seek out ways to help provide a positive future for Afghani children. I wish my motivation were more altruistic, but in truth I see it only as enlightened self-interest.
May you find a cause that fires your belly in the week ahead.
Sally
For those of you who haven’t seen the film – and I’m guessing most of you are far more up-to-the-minute than I regarding popular culture – I’ll do a quick recap.
Charlie Wilson was an actual US Congressman from Texas – a playboy who seemed mostly interested in whiskey, women, and fun. He represented a district where constituents were mostly interested in religion and guns and therefore didn’t need or want him to do much for them. So he felt free to make himself agreeable to other members of Congress – and collected a lot of favors owed.
One constituent, the fifth wealthiest woman in Texas and a former Cotton Bowl Queen – both of which got Charlie’s attention – did, however, espouse a cause for which she wanted Charlie’s help. Joanne H wanted the United States to help Afghanistan defeat the Soviet invasion of 1980. Ultra-right wing, Christian fundamentalist, rich enough to not have a care in the world, Joanne had deep passion for the plight of Afghanis dealing with Soviet atrocities in their country. And if she and Charlie could kick some Communist butt in the meantime, so much the better.
Long story short – that’s what happened. Charlie Wilson called in his favors and raised appropriations to Afghanistan from $5 to $250 million, brokered an arms deal between very unlikely players in the middle east – all of which led to the defeat and withdrawal of Soviet troops from Afghanistan and the eventual demise of the USSR as we knew it.
What Charlie Wilson was not able to do was to generate support to help rebuild Afghanistan after the Soviets withdrew. According to the film and dvd interviews, he tried to muster Congressional support to build schools – especially considering that the war had left a huge population of Afghanistan under the age of 14. The film ends with his quote, paraphrased “We did grand and glorious things and the world changed – and we messed up the end game.”
It’s the end game I keep thinking about – how I and most Americans can be so oblivious about an area of the world that has turned out to have such a huge impact on us, how willing our government was to purchase guns, how unwilling it was to prevent the vacuum that allowed the Taliban to take power, how insular governmental and charity giving seems to have been about this issue.
Some months ago I wrote about Greg Mortensen’s attempts to build schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan – all with charitable donations (Three Cups of Tea). Where, I wonder, has Mrs. Rich Texan been in that effort? When the government wouldn’t allocate $1million to build schools, did Charlie imagine asking Mrs. Rich Texan to support that effort?
I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I know where some of my charitable giving will go in future months and years. I wish I’d known – and comprehended - the need years ago. Now that my awareness if not my full understanding has been raised, I can’t in conscience not seek out ways to help provide a positive future for Afghani children. I wish my motivation were more altruistic, but in truth I see it only as enlightened self-interest.
May you find a cause that fires your belly in the week ahead.
Sally
Monday, July 14, 2008
Monday Moment - Treating Myself to a Times
Yesterday I treated myself to a Sunday New York Times. Now that doesn’t sound like much of a treat – unless you’ve read a Sunday Times lately. What a window on the world!
There’s a window on a world I don’t know – the Chanel platform pump priced at $975. The ad only showed one and used the singular as I just did – but surely you get two shoes for that price? Especially since the design was so unusual that you’d surely wear them only ever so occasionally.
There’s a window on films and plays that makes what is offered at my local Cineplex (to which I hardly ever get anyway) look paltry and pathetic in comparison. And the window on New York Society – well there’s another world I will never know. And I put the book review section aside so I can’t yet imagine all the windows that might open up for me!
I confess that I skimmed, rather than read, the greater number of articles in the Times. But two articles really caught my attention – start to finish.
The first was about bicycling in Paris – and tapped into a belief that people will make healthy and positive environmental choices when it is easy to do so. The city of Paris has contracted with an independent supplier who has established bicycle rental kiosks all over the city – and especially close to Metro stops. Folks can subscribe to unlimited half-hour trips which allows most commuters to get to their destination and turn in the bike at the conveniently located kiosk nearby – all for about $50 a year. And people do use the bikes! A lot! You can rent the bikes by the day or by the hour too, but for commuting they have various subscription plans that make it easy and enjoyable to use bikes instead of cars. Brilliant!
Naturally there are some kinks. Traffic is too congested in parts of Paris to ride safely on a bike, and helmets are not yet required. But what a terrific notion – to make it easy to get exercise and reduce emissions! Seems like it could be a window of opportunity!
The second article had to do with a public health doctor attempting to convince the 96% of the citizens of an African country that they should use soap when washing their hands. Since I spend a fair amount of effort teaching benefits of handwashing to child care staff, kids, and anyone I can – I was fascinated with her approach. She found that just telling people that their hands carried germs wasn’t enough to change their behavior. So she went to Madison Avenue to find out how the marketers convince us to use toothpaste twice a day, use deodorant, and spray Febreze on our upholstery to finish a room cleaning ritual. All these are habits that advertising has helped shape in us – like washing our hands with soap.
Seems like the advertising folks know what they’re doing. After their campaign – which included making bathroom activity seem gross and disgusting – there has been a significant gain in washing hands with soap. Now that we know how to do it in Africa, maybe we can learn how to do it here too. Check out my favorite hand-washing website www.henrythehand.com for some tips on how to avoid infecting others and yourself with unwashed hands!
All that interesting information – and a lot more – just from treating myself to a New York Times. I recommend it! Oh and by the way – I haven’t finished the crossword yet, but I plan to tonight!
May you enjoy whatever treat you’d most like this week!
Sally
There’s a window on a world I don’t know – the Chanel platform pump priced at $975. The ad only showed one and used the singular as I just did – but surely you get two shoes for that price? Especially since the design was so unusual that you’d surely wear them only ever so occasionally.
There’s a window on films and plays that makes what is offered at my local Cineplex (to which I hardly ever get anyway) look paltry and pathetic in comparison. And the window on New York Society – well there’s another world I will never know. And I put the book review section aside so I can’t yet imagine all the windows that might open up for me!
I confess that I skimmed, rather than read, the greater number of articles in the Times. But two articles really caught my attention – start to finish.
The first was about bicycling in Paris – and tapped into a belief that people will make healthy and positive environmental choices when it is easy to do so. The city of Paris has contracted with an independent supplier who has established bicycle rental kiosks all over the city – and especially close to Metro stops. Folks can subscribe to unlimited half-hour trips which allows most commuters to get to their destination and turn in the bike at the conveniently located kiosk nearby – all for about $50 a year. And people do use the bikes! A lot! You can rent the bikes by the day or by the hour too, but for commuting they have various subscription plans that make it easy and enjoyable to use bikes instead of cars. Brilliant!
Naturally there are some kinks. Traffic is too congested in parts of Paris to ride safely on a bike, and helmets are not yet required. But what a terrific notion – to make it easy to get exercise and reduce emissions! Seems like it could be a window of opportunity!
The second article had to do with a public health doctor attempting to convince the 96% of the citizens of an African country that they should use soap when washing their hands. Since I spend a fair amount of effort teaching benefits of handwashing to child care staff, kids, and anyone I can – I was fascinated with her approach. She found that just telling people that their hands carried germs wasn’t enough to change their behavior. So she went to Madison Avenue to find out how the marketers convince us to use toothpaste twice a day, use deodorant, and spray Febreze on our upholstery to finish a room cleaning ritual. All these are habits that advertising has helped shape in us – like washing our hands with soap.
Seems like the advertising folks know what they’re doing. After their campaign – which included making bathroom activity seem gross and disgusting – there has been a significant gain in washing hands with soap. Now that we know how to do it in Africa, maybe we can learn how to do it here too. Check out my favorite hand-washing website www.henrythehand.com for some tips on how to avoid infecting others and yourself with unwashed hands!
All that interesting information – and a lot more – just from treating myself to a New York Times. I recommend it! Oh and by the way – I haven’t finished the crossword yet, but I plan to tonight!
May you enjoy whatever treat you’d most like this week!
Sally
Monday, July 7, 2008
Monday Moment - A Deeper Pursuit of Fun
It was a weekend of revelry – with friends and family too seldom seen and complete with the brilliance of talented young musicians, fireworks, and abundant sunshine! Add in the guilty pleasures of pig on a plate, and you’ve got a pretty accurate vision of my July 4th weekend! Fun!
My own experiences of Independence Day are largely focused on fun. When I was a kid, my family swam, picnicked, and shielded my tender ears and eyes from the fireworks’ biggest bangs. In my teen years, my folks and I went to a small town that was famous for its colony of Swedish settlers – and a great 4th of July parade. Our first year there, the parade perplexed us. It was a good long parade that started looking familiar after a while. Turns out, all the bands, floats, and candy-throwing cars circled the parade route twice! Why settle for fun when you could have twice the fun?
While working at the National 4-H Center after college, I – and about 600 4-H kids – gaped at the sights we’d only seen on postcards and television as bright blooms of fire burst over all the Monuments that can be seen from the roof of the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. I had the privilege to experience our country’s bi-centennial in a small Kansas town. And I’ve had a front row seat at the edge of Canandaigua Lake while the crowd behind me couldn’t contain their oohs and ahhs at the beauty in front of them.
Fun!
I’m not sure when I set the goal to read the Declaration of Independence start to finish on July 4th – and I certainly can’t claim to have remembered my goal every year since I set it. But when I have remembered, I found that reading those amazing words, remembering the radical and yet rational steps those guys took in Philadelphia, and all that has been done (and all those who have done it) to protect those principles – well it all just deepens my fun.
And in the hopes that it might turn out that way for you too (with apologies to anyone who might be getting a duplicate on this topic), I offer it here – with the hopes that you also had a July 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th full of good fun, good folk, and food – and that your summer will be rich in the pursuit of fun!
Sally
IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
hen in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
My own experiences of Independence Day are largely focused on fun. When I was a kid, my family swam, picnicked, and shielded my tender ears and eyes from the fireworks’ biggest bangs. In my teen years, my folks and I went to a small town that was famous for its colony of Swedish settlers – and a great 4th of July parade. Our first year there, the parade perplexed us. It was a good long parade that started looking familiar after a while. Turns out, all the bands, floats, and candy-throwing cars circled the parade route twice! Why settle for fun when you could have twice the fun?
While working at the National 4-H Center after college, I – and about 600 4-H kids – gaped at the sights we’d only seen on postcards and television as bright blooms of fire burst over all the Monuments that can be seen from the roof of the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. I had the privilege to experience our country’s bi-centennial in a small Kansas town. And I’ve had a front row seat at the edge of Canandaigua Lake while the crowd behind me couldn’t contain their oohs and ahhs at the beauty in front of them.
Fun!
I’m not sure when I set the goal to read the Declaration of Independence start to finish on July 4th – and I certainly can’t claim to have remembered my goal every year since I set it. But when I have remembered, I found that reading those amazing words, remembering the radical and yet rational steps those guys took in Philadelphia, and all that has been done (and all those who have done it) to protect those principles – well it all just deepens my fun.
And in the hopes that it might turn out that way for you too (with apologies to anyone who might be getting a duplicate on this topic), I offer it here – with the hopes that you also had a July 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th full of good fun, good folk, and food – and that your summer will be rich in the pursuit of fun!
Sally
IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America
hen in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday Moment - Thinking About Lazy Days
This was a beautiful morning – the kind that summer dreams are made of – so I opted to take my kayak out for the first paddle of the season. What an excellent choice that was! Warm sun, cool water, birds chirping – especially where homeowners have put up purple marten houses – the lake nearly to myself. And almost two hours of ‘think time.’
I once heard Earl Nightingale (quoting someone else whose name I’ve forgotten) say something to the effect that a thought was the hardest thing in the world to complete. I’ve been trying to prove that guy wrong ever since. This morning wasn’t the time to achieve that goal.
I’m often amazed at my mind’s myriad and seemingly random meanderings. I’ll find myself thinking about some odd memory (or half-thought idea) and wonder how on earth I got to that particular slice of the old gray matter. Then nothing will do but to trace – or attempt to – the free association that got me there. It can be a pretty entertaining thing, my head.
Today’s thoughts were of summer – all its joys and opportunities.
The summer of 2008 looms ahead of me – with more uncommitted time than I’ve had in years. This unscheduled time shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but somehow it has. What’s more surprising is that I don’t have well-defined goals about how to fill that time. And I can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
I certainly would like to invest my time wisely this summer – to have something in September that I can look back on with pride – a job done, tasks checked off the to do list, or perhaps an experience that can be checked off my life-list – with photographic evidence of course.
However, I’ve also played with the notion that I might experiment with just taking the summer off. Waking up without a plan for what needs to be accomplished that day. Just being – and doing whatever suits me on any given day. Sounds like ultimate luxury - like summers were back when I was a kid – or at least the hazy way I remember summers then.
Truth is, even then there were schedules – swim lessons, Bible School, camp, the 4-H Fair, canning tomatoes and freezing corn where my help was expected and required. And truth is, those scheduled events are among my most vivid and most treasured memories of summer.
The desire to be productive is part of being human, I think – part of the richness of being alive. So I don’t think I’ll be satisfied with an entire summer of lazy days. Just what my summer to do list will be – well, that’s still an incomplete thought. I think I’ll need a few more long paddles – and maybe just a few more lazy days – to figure that out.
Wishing you whatever you want most for your summer!
Sally
I once heard Earl Nightingale (quoting someone else whose name I’ve forgotten) say something to the effect that a thought was the hardest thing in the world to complete. I’ve been trying to prove that guy wrong ever since. This morning wasn’t the time to achieve that goal.
I’m often amazed at my mind’s myriad and seemingly random meanderings. I’ll find myself thinking about some odd memory (or half-thought idea) and wonder how on earth I got to that particular slice of the old gray matter. Then nothing will do but to trace – or attempt to – the free association that got me there. It can be a pretty entertaining thing, my head.
Today’s thoughts were of summer – all its joys and opportunities.
The summer of 2008 looms ahead of me – with more uncommitted time than I’ve had in years. This unscheduled time shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but somehow it has. What’s more surprising is that I don’t have well-defined goals about how to fill that time. And I can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
I certainly would like to invest my time wisely this summer – to have something in September that I can look back on with pride – a job done, tasks checked off the to do list, or perhaps an experience that can be checked off my life-list – with photographic evidence of course.
However, I’ve also played with the notion that I might experiment with just taking the summer off. Waking up without a plan for what needs to be accomplished that day. Just being – and doing whatever suits me on any given day. Sounds like ultimate luxury - like summers were back when I was a kid – or at least the hazy way I remember summers then.
Truth is, even then there were schedules – swim lessons, Bible School, camp, the 4-H Fair, canning tomatoes and freezing corn where my help was expected and required. And truth is, those scheduled events are among my most vivid and most treasured memories of summer.
The desire to be productive is part of being human, I think – part of the richness of being alive. So I don’t think I’ll be satisfied with an entire summer of lazy days. Just what my summer to do list will be – well, that’s still an incomplete thought. I think I’ll need a few more long paddles – and maybe just a few more lazy days – to figure that out.
Wishing you whatever you want most for your summer!
Sally
Monday, June 23, 2008
Monday Moment - Do What You Love!
I’ve long been a fan of The Wizard of Oz so when Wicked came to Rochester a few weeks ago, I made it my business to secure tickets. The Rochester Broadway Theatre League brings four or five big musical productions to town every year – and I used to go fairly often – but I hadn’t been in years.
But Wicked, I thought, was not to be missed. I wanted to steep myself in the show before it arrived so I picked up Gregory Maguire’s book and gave myself a whole month to read it. Normally, whenever I read a book before seeing a movie or play based on that book, I like the book a whole lot more. At least twice lately, that pattern has been broken. Love in the Time of Cholera was a beautiful film – and a book that was a lot of work. And Wicked was a delightful romp on stage and honestly, an agony to read.
Well, agony is perhaps too strong a word. Or maybe not. I kept thinking that being wicked ought to be more fun! But Elphaba, our Wicked Witch of the West, didn’t seem to enjoy her “beautiful wickedness” as much as I thought she ought to. I certainly gained sympathy for her, but I just couldn’t work up the delicious scare I’ve always gotten from Margaret Hamilton’s Wicked Witch of the West. Being wicked seemed a lot more exhausting than fun! Of course that could be because the book goes on for decades and decades of Elphaba’s life. Maybe it was me who was exhausted.
But on stage, Elphaba was sympathetic, engaging, and fun! And Glinda, flighty and fairly annoying in the book, maintained that flightiness in the funniest and most engaging way imaginable! It was entirely understandable that she should acquire the level of popularity to which she aspired. She injected exponential fun in every situation.
Light and dark (or in this case, green) served the other as Elphaba the green and Glinda the goofy developed a heartfelt friendship that was touching to see. Their signature song - “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I’ve been changed for good” – demonstrated that without the wicked, the good wouldn’t have been as goodm, and nor was the wicked, perhaps, as wicked as it seemed.
Ahh. Food for thought. And high level entertainment that I am absolutely glad I didn’t miss.
And there’s the lesson for me – beyond the lessons of friendship and courage of Wicked’s plot. If I enjoy musical theatre as much as I clearly do – then why in the heck has it been so long since I’ve taken advantage of the opportunity? It’s not as if I have to travel to Broadway or Toronto to see a great show. I can get to the theater, park, and be in my seat in less than an hour. Yes, tickets are pricey. And worth skimping on some other minor luxuries.
I’m reminded of one of Sid Simon’s values strategies that asks you to name 20 Things You Love to Do – and then asks just when you had last done each of them. Well, I can guarantee you that my absence from that Auditorium Theater will not be nearly as prolonged in future years. In fact, I’ve set a goal – and you know how I am about my goals – that I will attend no fewer than one touring Broadway show each year for the rest of my life!
Next year’s season has already been announced. After Wicked I have to see The Wizard of Oz, now don’t I? And maybe The Drowsy Chaperone and Jersey Boys, and…
Wishing you opportunities to do something from your 20 Things I Love to Do list this very week!
Sally
But Wicked, I thought, was not to be missed. I wanted to steep myself in the show before it arrived so I picked up Gregory Maguire’s book and gave myself a whole month to read it. Normally, whenever I read a book before seeing a movie or play based on that book, I like the book a whole lot more. At least twice lately, that pattern has been broken. Love in the Time of Cholera was a beautiful film – and a book that was a lot of work. And Wicked was a delightful romp on stage and honestly, an agony to read.
Well, agony is perhaps too strong a word. Or maybe not. I kept thinking that being wicked ought to be more fun! But Elphaba, our Wicked Witch of the West, didn’t seem to enjoy her “beautiful wickedness” as much as I thought she ought to. I certainly gained sympathy for her, but I just couldn’t work up the delicious scare I’ve always gotten from Margaret Hamilton’s Wicked Witch of the West. Being wicked seemed a lot more exhausting than fun! Of course that could be because the book goes on for decades and decades of Elphaba’s life. Maybe it was me who was exhausted.
But on stage, Elphaba was sympathetic, engaging, and fun! And Glinda, flighty and fairly annoying in the book, maintained that flightiness in the funniest and most engaging way imaginable! It was entirely understandable that she should acquire the level of popularity to which she aspired. She injected exponential fun in every situation.
Light and dark (or in this case, green) served the other as Elphaba the green and Glinda the goofy developed a heartfelt friendship that was touching to see. Their signature song - “I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I’ve been changed for good” – demonstrated that without the wicked, the good wouldn’t have been as goodm, and nor was the wicked, perhaps, as wicked as it seemed.
Ahh. Food for thought. And high level entertainment that I am absolutely glad I didn’t miss.
And there’s the lesson for me – beyond the lessons of friendship and courage of Wicked’s plot. If I enjoy musical theatre as much as I clearly do – then why in the heck has it been so long since I’ve taken advantage of the opportunity? It’s not as if I have to travel to Broadway or Toronto to see a great show. I can get to the theater, park, and be in my seat in less than an hour. Yes, tickets are pricey. And worth skimping on some other minor luxuries.
I’m reminded of one of Sid Simon’s values strategies that asks you to name 20 Things You Love to Do – and then asks just when you had last done each of them. Well, I can guarantee you that my absence from that Auditorium Theater will not be nearly as prolonged in future years. In fact, I’ve set a goal – and you know how I am about my goals – that I will attend no fewer than one touring Broadway show each year for the rest of my life!
Next year’s season has already been announced. After Wicked I have to see The Wizard of Oz, now don’t I? And maybe The Drowsy Chaperone and Jersey Boys, and…
Wishing you opportunities to do something from your 20 Things I Love to Do list this very week!
Sally
Monday, June 16, 2008
Monday Moment - Cleaning House
Last week I hosted my book group for the first time since I became a member. Well, you know what that means, right? I felt compelled to work like a dog to clean my house within an inch of its life!
Generally I’ve always believed that my friends should and will take me – and my house – as I am. And generally, that’s been how it has been. People who like me understand that I’m a “stuff-person” and that I tend to place more focus on creativity than either neatness or cleanliness. I don’t see that as a bad thing – never have. I like my creativity – and I like that my house acts as a palette for said creativity.
And yet. I do recognize that I – and my stuff – can go over the top on occasion. I’m sure it’s a genetic thing. I can blame my pack-rat tendencies as squarely on my mother as I can my hips and thighs. I undoubtedly also got a dose of house-pride from Mom too. After all, I remember helping to clean our home place within an inch of its life when it was her turn to host her Club – theoretically formed so they could sew together until they found a lot more fun in playing cards.
House-pride is something I’ve seen in all our previous book group gatherings as well. Over half our group are either new to our community or have moved back after some time away – and live in immaculate new homes. You know the kind – where the original paint has yet to chip from corners or become scuffed from the daily traffic of living. Only one has children still living at home, and although a few have animals, they seem to be of the extraordinarily well-behaved variety with whom I can only claim only passing acquaintance. These are homes that sparkle and shine – and intimidate lesser house-keepers like me.
Hence my compulsion to show off my home in its best light – which required a sort of archaeological scraping through various strata of my life. There was stuff to dump, stuff to give away, stuff to put away, stuff to clean and lovingly display. Oy! And anytime I paused, thinking that maybe I was nearly done, there was something else that needed attention. Baseboards, cupboard knobs, picture frames, lampshades, it seemed like it would never end.
I kept thinking that next time they come it will be easier. For one thing, the house will be one more year cleaner. But for another, next time they’ll be content to sit in the living room without wanting a tour of the whole darn house!
The rooms we spend the most time in (all right – except for my office which is sadly a bit of a catch-all) stay reasonably clean and neat. It’s those other rooms – my office, sewing area, guest room (another catch-all until someone comes to stay) and all the nooks and crannies that don’t get a lot of regular attention.
And that – perhaps – has emerged as my goal. Perhaps, if I straighten, neaten, purge, and clean one room every week (oh cripes, for the rest of my life!) then the task of getting the whole house clean at one time won’t be so gut-busting. Oh that would be such a good goal. But I know myself – and it’s not likely to happen every week. Not when there are kayaks to paddle, gardens to work in, books to read, and any of the other myriad of more enjoyable things to do.
So then, let’s amend the goal. One of those lesser used rooms every month. Just an hour at a time. Seems doable. I’ll let you know – next year when it’s my turn to host book group again!
Oh by the way, there were oohs, ahhs, and wow’s when they came last week. So the effort was well justified, my house-pride emerged intact, and – at least momentarily – we live in a clean and still creative house.
May you accomplish some goal that makes you proud in the coming week!
Generally I’ve always believed that my friends should and will take me – and my house – as I am. And generally, that’s been how it has been. People who like me understand that I’m a “stuff-person” and that I tend to place more focus on creativity than either neatness or cleanliness. I don’t see that as a bad thing – never have. I like my creativity – and I like that my house acts as a palette for said creativity.
And yet. I do recognize that I – and my stuff – can go over the top on occasion. I’m sure it’s a genetic thing. I can blame my pack-rat tendencies as squarely on my mother as I can my hips and thighs. I undoubtedly also got a dose of house-pride from Mom too. After all, I remember helping to clean our home place within an inch of its life when it was her turn to host her Club – theoretically formed so they could sew together until they found a lot more fun in playing cards.
House-pride is something I’ve seen in all our previous book group gatherings as well. Over half our group are either new to our community or have moved back after some time away – and live in immaculate new homes. You know the kind – where the original paint has yet to chip from corners or become scuffed from the daily traffic of living. Only one has children still living at home, and although a few have animals, they seem to be of the extraordinarily well-behaved variety with whom I can only claim only passing acquaintance. These are homes that sparkle and shine – and intimidate lesser house-keepers like me.
Hence my compulsion to show off my home in its best light – which required a sort of archaeological scraping through various strata of my life. There was stuff to dump, stuff to give away, stuff to put away, stuff to clean and lovingly display. Oy! And anytime I paused, thinking that maybe I was nearly done, there was something else that needed attention. Baseboards, cupboard knobs, picture frames, lampshades, it seemed like it would never end.
I kept thinking that next time they come it will be easier. For one thing, the house will be one more year cleaner. But for another, next time they’ll be content to sit in the living room without wanting a tour of the whole darn house!
The rooms we spend the most time in (all right – except for my office which is sadly a bit of a catch-all) stay reasonably clean and neat. It’s those other rooms – my office, sewing area, guest room (another catch-all until someone comes to stay) and all the nooks and crannies that don’t get a lot of regular attention.
And that – perhaps – has emerged as my goal. Perhaps, if I straighten, neaten, purge, and clean one room every week (oh cripes, for the rest of my life!) then the task of getting the whole house clean at one time won’t be so gut-busting. Oh that would be such a good goal. But I know myself – and it’s not likely to happen every week. Not when there are kayaks to paddle, gardens to work in, books to read, and any of the other myriad of more enjoyable things to do.
So then, let’s amend the goal. One of those lesser used rooms every month. Just an hour at a time. Seems doable. I’ll let you know – next year when it’s my turn to host book group again!
Oh by the way, there were oohs, ahhs, and wow’s when they came last week. So the effort was well justified, my house-pride emerged intact, and – at least momentarily – we live in a clean and still creative house.
May you accomplish some goal that makes you proud in the coming week!
Monday, June 9, 2008
Monday Moment - Lessons from My Bathroom Floor
Three dogs - aging and occasionally incontinent - had turned the bathroom carpet ugly, but there was no point replacing it until all three had lived out their lives. So it was with mixed emotions that I approached a new bathroom floor.
On the one hand, I missed my canine companions, their funny ways, and unconditional devotion. The last one left us after nearly sixteen years of joyful wagging at the mere sound of my voice. That was only weeks ago and coming home hasn’t been the same since. So yes, I missed my doggers.
On the other hand, I couldn’t wait to get that gross carpet out of my house and my life forever! And since I purchased gorgeous stone tile over two years ago, I was thrilled, excited, and nearly drooling with anticipation to get that tile down on the bathroom floor!
My plan – painstakingly drawn and then enhanced with tiny scraps of post-it notes – wasn’t straight-forward. Why bother with simple when you can have creative? Since I wanted what I wanted, I was willing – even eager – to do it all myself.
Okay. So my previous experience with tile had been that mosaic trivet I made back in fourth grade. What’s that got to do with it? I’m handy – sort of. I wanted to learn. I don’t mind hard work. I could do this.
Was I crazy, I was asked. Did I want to take a chance of reducing the value of my house? What made me think I could do this? On my own? Did I remember other projects I’d done – the ones that were cobbled together and had required re-doing by someone with more skills and the right tools? Did I remember that all my previous projects fit that cobbled together description? (Not precisely accurate, I’d argue, but clearly my inquisitor was not willing to concede competence on any front.) Was I crazy? Certifiably insane?
“The jury’s still out on that one,” I said. I’d like to say that I remained calm and determined in the face of such doubt. Determined – certainly. Calm – not so much.
I conceded that I would need help – and clearly from someone who didn’t reside at my own address. Enter the Maintenance Cowboy. I’m not kidding. That’s what he calls his handyman business. Seth is his name – the Maintenance Cowboy. It seems that Seth and his wife – both trained chefs, by the way – lived in Colorado for a while until they decided that good schools and being near family would be better for their young children. But once a cowboy always a cowboy, it seems.
I know Seth has had a culinary education, but I don’t know where he got his handyman skills. But so far, I’ve not seen anything this guy can’t do – with the kind of calm, unflappable ‘we can do this’ style that fits my images of sixties western heroes. Think the Virginian with a little dose of Maverick humor.
The best thing was that this was a cowboy who can teach. At first, I think he wanted me there to interpret that creative plan of mine. He’s probably dealt with a lot of customers who kvetch when his work isn’t precisely what they expected. As the project got going, though, Seth welcomed my help, and encouraged me to take on more and more of the work. Yee-hah!
I never expected to learn life lessons while tiling my bathroom floor. I only expected to learn how to tile. But I do believe the lessons apply to life as well as tile. What do you think?
When you’re planning a project, find someone to help you. Make sure it’s someone who, if he doubts your competence, will keep his thoughts to himself and who will calmly and patiently show you what needs to be done.
Don’t automatically expect that person to be the guy who promised to love, honor, and cherish you. All bets are off – or at least suspended – in the midst of a project where two of you don’t know what you’re doing.
Expect to apply a factor of four – or more. As in: The project will cost four times what you thought it would cost. You will make four more trips to Lowe’s than you anticipated you’d make (all right, maybe it was six trips). You will need four (all right, nine) more tiles than you purchased. It will take four times as long as you thought it would take. And so forth – times four.
Factor in hidden costs: clothing permanently stained, the cost of pizza, take out, and fast food meals because you won’t have time or energy left to shop and certainly not to cook.
The end result won’t be perfect. Tiny misjudgments in spacing expand along the way, causing bigger spacing issues later. And in the end, you’re the only one who will know where those little – or sometimes bigger – goofs show up. As the cowboy says, “Grout hides a multitude of sins.”
The grout and other gunk will eventually wear off your skin – even if it has epoxy in it. Mere days later, that sandpaper-like feeling will be only a memory.
In the end, the beauty of your project – and the satisfaction of doing at least some of it yourself - will be worth it all! A bathroom floor can never replace a wagging tail, but it is a good thing in and of itself.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Monday Moment - Love in Every Note
I had a long drive today, and since I’ve been up to my neck in a home improvement project during the last week (more on that next week maybe), I didn’t get to the library for my customary method of making a long car trip more enjoyable – an audio book.
With a book, an interminable trip goes quickly. Tempus fugit. In fact, sometimes I find myself slowing down as I return home – in an attempt to finish a chapter or a whole book.
But not this trip. I can tune in NPR for a good bit of the way so today I caught up on news I hadn’t heard or read in the last week. But somewhere along the Mohawk Valley, radio frequencies dessert me. Yikes! Interminable!
And then I remembered the tapes in the glove compartment – and the trip changed tempo once again.
You know how you’ll hear a piece of music, and it will take you back to a vivid memory in ways that few other things will do? That, in a nutshell, was my trip home.
In 1991, my late sweetie Dave began making what became annual music collections for me on cassette tapes. It started when I asked him to tape one song – James Brown singing “I feel good” – so I could do some chair aerobics in a workshop I was leading. But Dave couldn’t content himself with a single song. He gave me 90 minutes of “songs that made me think of you.” Thus began the annual tradition.
So today, although everyone else on the New York State Thruway was driving in 2008, I was living again in 1994. Dave’s memory lives for me every day, but listening to the music he selected to share with me in 1994 evoked more than just remembering the feelings of that time. I felt them – viscerally felt them – again.
There was sadness certainly. 1994 was a tough year. Dave had several big health setbacks in 1994, and some of the music spoke about “needing some magic to sweep him away” and life not being fair. And yet, 1994 was the year that we held our surprise wedding and had other countless relationship-deepening experiences together.
Dave’s been gone now for over nine years, and sometimes it seems as if our time together was in a different life. Until I hear his music – and Dave’s presence vibrates within me. So much of him and of our life together came back today, the humor and playfulness, the solid support we gave each other during tough times, the sustenance he wanted for me even after his life would end.
Losing Dave is not a present tragedy. I did my grieving and my healing, and life is good again. Sure there was some sadness. And there was also joy. I count joy remembered and felt again to be worth the sadness revisited. Well worth it! And there was such wonderful music – with love in every note!
May your heart sing with joy of past and present in the week to come!
Sally
With a book, an interminable trip goes quickly. Tempus fugit. In fact, sometimes I find myself slowing down as I return home – in an attempt to finish a chapter or a whole book.
But not this trip. I can tune in NPR for a good bit of the way so today I caught up on news I hadn’t heard or read in the last week. But somewhere along the Mohawk Valley, radio frequencies dessert me. Yikes! Interminable!
And then I remembered the tapes in the glove compartment – and the trip changed tempo once again.
You know how you’ll hear a piece of music, and it will take you back to a vivid memory in ways that few other things will do? That, in a nutshell, was my trip home.
In 1991, my late sweetie Dave began making what became annual music collections for me on cassette tapes. It started when I asked him to tape one song – James Brown singing “I feel good” – so I could do some chair aerobics in a workshop I was leading. But Dave couldn’t content himself with a single song. He gave me 90 minutes of “songs that made me think of you.” Thus began the annual tradition.
So today, although everyone else on the New York State Thruway was driving in 2008, I was living again in 1994. Dave’s memory lives for me every day, but listening to the music he selected to share with me in 1994 evoked more than just remembering the feelings of that time. I felt them – viscerally felt them – again.
There was sadness certainly. 1994 was a tough year. Dave had several big health setbacks in 1994, and some of the music spoke about “needing some magic to sweep him away” and life not being fair. And yet, 1994 was the year that we held our surprise wedding and had other countless relationship-deepening experiences together.
Dave’s been gone now for over nine years, and sometimes it seems as if our time together was in a different life. Until I hear his music – and Dave’s presence vibrates within me. So much of him and of our life together came back today, the humor and playfulness, the solid support we gave each other during tough times, the sustenance he wanted for me even after his life would end.
Losing Dave is not a present tragedy. I did my grieving and my healing, and life is good again. Sure there was some sadness. And there was also joy. I count joy remembered and felt again to be worth the sadness revisited. Well worth it! And there was such wonderful music – with love in every note!
May your heart sing with joy of past and present in the week to come!
Sally
Monday, May 19, 2008
Monday Moment - In the Company of Great Women
Yesterday one of the members of my book group hosted a “Book Group Movie Sunday.” It was a double-feature showing of two films based on books we’d read – with a very fun and very smart collection of women.
Usually I don’t like to be inside glued to a screen on a Sunday afternoon, but luck or the “Book Group Movie Sunday” gods must have been smiling on us because it was a perfect afternoon to huddle together in Barb’s cozy family room. Cold, rainy, and occasionally wild and windy – not at all what one might hope for the third Sunday in May, but just great for a Movie Sunday!
The first film, Love in the Time of Cholera, was beautifully rendered, and – we all agreed more enjoyable than actually reading the book by Miguel Marchez Garcia. The film was textured and layered, a visual treat. The book seemed dense and a lot of work. But hey, that was just our take on it.
The second film – after a pizza and wine break – was The Kite Runner, based on the book by Khaled Hosseini, was also visually gorgeous and knock-out powerful. We felt the same way about the book. Though it dealt with some incredibly difficult subjects, this is a book that teaches, enlightens, breaks one’s heart, and begins to mend it. And the film does what a film based on a great book so rarely does – it lived up to the book!
The films, though – as much as I enjoyed both of them – aren’t really what I wanted to write about today. No, the films were only a small part of the experience of “Book Group Movie Sunday” for me. The greater part of yesterday’s enjoyment came from the company of such an interesting women – none of whom I have been connected to for much longer than a year.
I’ve been acquainted with several of the women I now call my reading friends, but until talking about books gave us the excuse, our acquaintance hadn’t blossomed into real friendship. And the great majority of our group are women that I had never even met before joining the group. What a gift I have given myself!
We’re a diverse group. Some retired public school teachers, some currently teaching – from subbing to high school French, to non-credit child care, to college level nursing or art education – a nurse practitioner, a couple businesswomen. Individually and collectively, these are interesting women.
So I’m congratulating myself at least two ways. One, that I get to hang out with these women, and two, that I’m smart enough to recognize just what a gift that is. I haven’t always had the geographic proximity with women friends, and I am savoring the opportunity!
May you have such an opportunity to savor in the coming week – and maybe see some really good films and read some really good books as a bonus!
Sally
Usually I don’t like to be inside glued to a screen on a Sunday afternoon, but luck or the “Book Group Movie Sunday” gods must have been smiling on us because it was a perfect afternoon to huddle together in Barb’s cozy family room. Cold, rainy, and occasionally wild and windy – not at all what one might hope for the third Sunday in May, but just great for a Movie Sunday!
The first film, Love in the Time of Cholera, was beautifully rendered, and – we all agreed more enjoyable than actually reading the book by Miguel Marchez Garcia. The film was textured and layered, a visual treat. The book seemed dense and a lot of work. But hey, that was just our take on it.
The second film – after a pizza and wine break – was The Kite Runner, based on the book by Khaled Hosseini, was also visually gorgeous and knock-out powerful. We felt the same way about the book. Though it dealt with some incredibly difficult subjects, this is a book that teaches, enlightens, breaks one’s heart, and begins to mend it. And the film does what a film based on a great book so rarely does – it lived up to the book!
The films, though – as much as I enjoyed both of them – aren’t really what I wanted to write about today. No, the films were only a small part of the experience of “Book Group Movie Sunday” for me. The greater part of yesterday’s enjoyment came from the company of such an interesting women – none of whom I have been connected to for much longer than a year.
I’ve been acquainted with several of the women I now call my reading friends, but until talking about books gave us the excuse, our acquaintance hadn’t blossomed into real friendship. And the great majority of our group are women that I had never even met before joining the group. What a gift I have given myself!
We’re a diverse group. Some retired public school teachers, some currently teaching – from subbing to high school French, to non-credit child care, to college level nursing or art education – a nurse practitioner, a couple businesswomen. Individually and collectively, these are interesting women.
So I’m congratulating myself at least two ways. One, that I get to hang out with these women, and two, that I’m smart enough to recognize just what a gift that is. I haven’t always had the geographic proximity with women friends, and I am savoring the opportunity!
May you have such an opportunity to savor in the coming week – and maybe see some really good films and read some really good books as a bonus!
Sally
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