Last week I was on a vacation break – of sorts. My break schedules are tied to school breaks. Students are out of school so my students who are providers of out-of-school care work full days, and therefore we take a break from our classes too.
I know that sounds complicated, but you can trust that it works out well for everybody. Kids and teachers get a break from schools, families know their kids are being cared for by our school-age care professionals, and these professionals put in longer hours so they need a break from school too.
And so I get a break as well. Kind of. Teaching school-age care professionals is just one of the ways I piece together my career. I also write, consult with non-profit organizations, do workshops and staff development work with schools, and just about any other thing that sounds fun, fits in the schedule, and fits my personal mission of influencing healthy choices.
So last week, I really only had a break from teaching. Still, teaching requires that I am in a certain place at a certain time each week, so a break from teaching is a true break from routine.
I hadn’t planned to go away, but I did want to use the break as a time of re-creation for myself. I puttered, I read (current novel: Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, 973 pages and a fascinating read!) I swam and rode my exercise bike, and I went recreational shopping in the middle of the week which I really only ever do when I’m on vacation, and I still attended to a little business. It was a good week.
And yet, this quasi-vacation (an old friend might call it a vacation-ette) convinced me that I’m due for a real, full-out, go-someplace-I’ve-never-been, honest-to-gosh vacation! I’ve tacked a day or two onto a business trip in the last year, and kept my schedule very flexible so I can enjoy our glorious Finger Lakes summers, but it’s been too long since I did the real deal. I’m due.
I haven’t figured out just how or when I’ll make this real deal happen. I’m tied to a school calendar now and I’ve always preferred to travel when school was in session. And I have a very old dog, and I’d worry that he might go into a decline while I was away. And there’s the money thing. And I’ll need to find someone who’d like to go with me since my partner finds it difficult to get away. And… and… and…
Do you see while it’s been a while? There are all these reasons – all right, excuses – for not taking action. They’re all valid. They really are. And yet, I don’t want to let these valid excuses keep me from living my life. Dr. Seuss describes it as “The Waiting Place” in Oh The Places You Will Go, where everyone is just waiting. “…Waiting for the fish to bite, or waiting around for wind to fly a kite, or waiting around for Friday night…”
One of the things I learned from my first husband Dave – not to wait. Dave’s health was always precarious, and he couldn’t do all the things I wanted to do. I hated to leave him when I needed to travel. It was a real and valid reason to stay home. But I learned that if I didn’t also live my life, I wouldn’t be the person he loved anyway!
So even though I’m not sure about the details – and my sweet old dog might die while I’m away which would truly break my heart – I will be planning a trip in the not too distant future. You can count on that! Enough waiting!
May you have an active week!
Sally
Monday, February 25, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Monday Moment - Messages of Peaceful Reassurance
In the last few years, we’ve had a “Community Reads” program which asks the question, “What if all Canandaigua (or Seattle or Denver or wherever) read the same book?” It’s been a wonderful thing.
A committee made up of school, library, and community folks select a book that’s appropriate for adults as well as high school students, and then promotes a variety of programs that encourage discussion about that book. When it’s possible, the author is invited to do programs for students at the high school and community college, and for the community at large. We’ve read books like The Sweet Hereafter, The Kite Runner, Peace Like a River, The Color of Water and more.
This year’s book is lovely and hopeful story called The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud by author Ben Sherwood that gives a particular view of the afterlife. Charlie and his younger brother are in a fatal auto accident. Charlie is revived but his brother Sam is not – and the rest of the story is about the choices Charlie makes to maintain a connection with his brother at the sacrifice of fully living his own life. Until a turning point comes that pushes both brothers to move on to their next phase.
My book group met last week to discuss this book, and it generated conversation about experiences that echoed Charlie’s connection with someone who had died – and every single one of us could report some occasion when we felt sure that someone from the other side was trying to give us a message. The messages were consistent – they were messages of hope, of reassurance, of love.
I found myself thinking about Charlie and Sam on Thursday when the news came out from my alma mater Northern Illinois University. I thought about Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, another story about an afterlife. And I found myself thinking about the family and friends of the six young people whose lives were violently cut short. And then I couldn’t help but think of the thousands of lives cut short in Iraq and other troubled parts of the world. All those futures that will now not come to be. All the healing that needs doing before the people who had such hopes for those futures will be able to breathe a peaceful and contented breath.
My fervent hope for all who have lost someone – especially those who were lost so abruptly and with no sense that we can see – will be able to rely on the hope – eventually – of love that is never lost, of life that doesn’t end but transforms. I know just how hard hope can be in the face of grievous loss. And yet I remain hopeful that clear and unmistakable reassurance of peace and comfort can be given to those who need it most. It’s a lot to hope for, and it is what our planet needs.
May your week be hopeful.
A committee made up of school, library, and community folks select a book that’s appropriate for adults as well as high school students, and then promotes a variety of programs that encourage discussion about that book. When it’s possible, the author is invited to do programs for students at the high school and community college, and for the community at large. We’ve read books like The Sweet Hereafter, The Kite Runner, Peace Like a River, The Color of Water and more.
This year’s book is lovely and hopeful story called The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud by author Ben Sherwood that gives a particular view of the afterlife. Charlie and his younger brother are in a fatal auto accident. Charlie is revived but his brother Sam is not – and the rest of the story is about the choices Charlie makes to maintain a connection with his brother at the sacrifice of fully living his own life. Until a turning point comes that pushes both brothers to move on to their next phase.
My book group met last week to discuss this book, and it generated conversation about experiences that echoed Charlie’s connection with someone who had died – and every single one of us could report some occasion when we felt sure that someone from the other side was trying to give us a message. The messages were consistent – they were messages of hope, of reassurance, of love.
I found myself thinking about Charlie and Sam on Thursday when the news came out from my alma mater Northern Illinois University. I thought about Alice Sebold’s The Lovely Bones, another story about an afterlife. And I found myself thinking about the family and friends of the six young people whose lives were violently cut short. And then I couldn’t help but think of the thousands of lives cut short in Iraq and other troubled parts of the world. All those futures that will now not come to be. All the healing that needs doing before the people who had such hopes for those futures will be able to breathe a peaceful and contented breath.
My fervent hope for all who have lost someone – especially those who were lost so abruptly and with no sense that we can see – will be able to rely on the hope – eventually – of love that is never lost, of life that doesn’t end but transforms. I know just how hard hope can be in the face of grievous loss. And yet I remain hopeful that clear and unmistakable reassurance of peace and comfort can be given to those who need it most. It’s a lot to hope for, and it is what our planet needs.
May your week be hopeful.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Monday Moment - Meeting Target Goals
Last week I hit four of my goal targets – those bite-sized actions that lead toward achieving my bigger annual goals. There are also a whole bunch of things that I didn’t get done, but I’m choosing to focus on the targets I met because I’m pretty sure they’ll help motivate me toward all the rest of my goals. See if you don’t agree.
1. I swam 3.22 miles last week, up from a average of 1-2 probably since about 2005. From 1999 through 2004, I averaged 2-3 miles a week, but when knee surgery put me on the bench in early 2005, I never managed to get my habitual practice back in line. It wasn’t my knee that stopped me. It was my head. So getting back up to 3 miles – even for just one week – feels like my old stride and I like that feeling!
2. I kept my calorie count around 1400/day last week. And didn’t really feel deprived. The scale hasn’t shown much progress on the long-term goal yet, but that’s the thing with goal targets. Sometimes you have to take it on faith that meeting a weekly target will give your results you won’t see for a long time. I need to remind myself about that need for faith since I know I’m a person who thrives on results – and has limited patience for the process.
3. I began working on a writing project that’s new and challenging for me, and I have a plan to push myself to continue a weekly target of writing every Friday. I just scratched the surface of the big goal, but if I can make as much progress every week as I did last Friday, I’ll have a respectable draft of a new book by summer. Writing is one of the things that is important for me because it pushes me to grow, I find I have things that I need to say, and it just might be an important component of my legacy on the planet. But writing is not at all urgent because it has yet to put food on the table or a roof over my head. So to actually get around to writing – regardless of the outcome – well that’s a huge act of self-discipline which generates substantial self-satisfaction.
4. I created and encouraged a celebration of my love’s birthday. He’s a reluctant celebrant, not eager to call attention to himself and sometimes needing a nudge to play. But play we did, and by meeting this goal, I got to bask in the real and tangible joy of doing for someone else. It felt good.
Well that was fun for me – resting for a time on the laurels of last week’s goals. But so much for rest. I haven’t time for more as I need to get to the pool and start working on the here and now!
Wishing you a warm and heart-filled week!
1. I swam 3.22 miles last week, up from a average of 1-2 probably since about 2005. From 1999 through 2004, I averaged 2-3 miles a week, but when knee surgery put me on the bench in early 2005, I never managed to get my habitual practice back in line. It wasn’t my knee that stopped me. It was my head. So getting back up to 3 miles – even for just one week – feels like my old stride and I like that feeling!
2. I kept my calorie count around 1400/day last week. And didn’t really feel deprived. The scale hasn’t shown much progress on the long-term goal yet, but that’s the thing with goal targets. Sometimes you have to take it on faith that meeting a weekly target will give your results you won’t see for a long time. I need to remind myself about that need for faith since I know I’m a person who thrives on results – and has limited patience for the process.
3. I began working on a writing project that’s new and challenging for me, and I have a plan to push myself to continue a weekly target of writing every Friday. I just scratched the surface of the big goal, but if I can make as much progress every week as I did last Friday, I’ll have a respectable draft of a new book by summer. Writing is one of the things that is important for me because it pushes me to grow, I find I have things that I need to say, and it just might be an important component of my legacy on the planet. But writing is not at all urgent because it has yet to put food on the table or a roof over my head. So to actually get around to writing – regardless of the outcome – well that’s a huge act of self-discipline which generates substantial self-satisfaction.
4. I created and encouraged a celebration of my love’s birthday. He’s a reluctant celebrant, not eager to call attention to himself and sometimes needing a nudge to play. But play we did, and by meeting this goal, I got to bask in the real and tangible joy of doing for someone else. It felt good.
Well that was fun for me – resting for a time on the laurels of last week’s goals. But so much for rest. I haven’t time for more as I need to get to the pool and start working on the here and now!
Wishing you a warm and heart-filled week!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Monday Moment - Ready and Acting
A few weeks ago a friend who shares my life-long struggle with weight – and who has worked hard to achieve a most attractive and healthy weight – were talking. She said she woke up one day saying “This is the day I change things,” started going to Weight Watchers and exercising the biggest muscle of all – self-discipline.
I replied – after gushing about how great she looked – that she was an inspiration, if only I were ready to be inspired. But I wasn’t ready. The task of trimming pounds that have crept up on me when I wasn’t looking just seemed too daunting, too much work. There was no denying it was a need, but I just didn’t feel up to it. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t ready.
But the inspiration remained, and my day showed up last week. I weighed myself after my swim – and that was the day I started making big changes in what I eat. And unlike other attempts, I’m not only finding this relatively painless, but I also am fairly certain that my self-discipline will remain firmly in place. Oh I haven’t achieved diet perfection – and I haven’t really tried to. But I have focused on low fat and low calorie, cutting way back on snacks – especially my twin nemeses dark chocolate and red wine.
Between Monday and Thursday, my weight plummeted – maybe half a pound. But I let myself take a lot of credit for that half-pound and stuck to my plan. And am eager to get to the Y tomorrow (as a meeting four hours from home prevented today) to see what else might have come from my efforts in the last four days. But it won’t really matter what the scale says tomorrow because I know I’m on the right path, and I will see results when I keep my behavior in line with my goal.
One of the reasons I know this is that this time I’m not fooling myself – or letting myself weasel out from my behavior choices. I’m logging all my food choices into an internet-based food diary that counts up my fat grams, my total calories, and gives me immediate feedback on how I’m doing. What a great tool! As I always tell students or workshop attendees, I’m a person who needs a responsive audience. I thrive on immediate feedback – which is something that we just don’t get with a long-term goal like weight loss or fitness. Darn it! But my food diary gives me exactly what I need – the reinforcement to keep up the behavior that has to lead to my desired results. Can you tell I’m feeling really good about this stuff?
So far, temptations have been mere twinges, and despite a reasonable but not generous calorie limit that I’m having no problem staying under, I’m walking away from meals full and satisfied. I think perhaps I’ve been inspired! My goal is strong and motivating, I have good tools, good support, and lots of reality-based hopes.
And now, I’ve made my goal public so my commitment skyrockets. When you’re ready, there’s another strategy that will push you to follow through on a big goal! Trust me on this!
I replied – after gushing about how great she looked – that she was an inspiration, if only I were ready to be inspired. But I wasn’t ready. The task of trimming pounds that have crept up on me when I wasn’t looking just seemed too daunting, too much work. There was no denying it was a need, but I just didn’t feel up to it. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t ready.
But the inspiration remained, and my day showed up last week. I weighed myself after my swim – and that was the day I started making big changes in what I eat. And unlike other attempts, I’m not only finding this relatively painless, but I also am fairly certain that my self-discipline will remain firmly in place. Oh I haven’t achieved diet perfection – and I haven’t really tried to. But I have focused on low fat and low calorie, cutting way back on snacks – especially my twin nemeses dark chocolate and red wine.
Between Monday and Thursday, my weight plummeted – maybe half a pound. But I let myself take a lot of credit for that half-pound and stuck to my plan. And am eager to get to the Y tomorrow (as a meeting four hours from home prevented today) to see what else might have come from my efforts in the last four days. But it won’t really matter what the scale says tomorrow because I know I’m on the right path, and I will see results when I keep my behavior in line with my goal.
One of the reasons I know this is that this time I’m not fooling myself – or letting myself weasel out from my behavior choices. I’m logging all my food choices into an internet-based food diary that counts up my fat grams, my total calories, and gives me immediate feedback on how I’m doing. What a great tool! As I always tell students or workshop attendees, I’m a person who needs a responsive audience. I thrive on immediate feedback – which is something that we just don’t get with a long-term goal like weight loss or fitness. Darn it! But my food diary gives me exactly what I need – the reinforcement to keep up the behavior that has to lead to my desired results. Can you tell I’m feeling really good about this stuff?
So far, temptations have been mere twinges, and despite a reasonable but not generous calorie limit that I’m having no problem staying under, I’m walking away from meals full and satisfied. I think perhaps I’ve been inspired! My goal is strong and motivating, I have good tools, good support, and lots of reality-based hopes.
And now, I’ve made my goal public so my commitment skyrockets. When you’re ready, there’s another strategy that will push you to follow through on a big goal! Trust me on this!
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